pikahyper

So ya weird day now, so I get a call on my cell about an hour ago and its from a restricted number, I only know of three phones that show up restricted on my cell, my ex's house, my house, and an old co-workers cell that died last year. So I figure it is my ex so I ignore the call, then my home phone rings and I'm thinking ok she's persistent today (no one has my home phone number except her and a few others from my past), so I pick up. Turns out it's my old co-workers brother and today is the one year anniversary since his death and he was calling everyone in his brothers cell phone address book. It hit me pretty hard, I have been working at the same comic store for 14 years now, my co-workers are pretty much family. I have always been ok with death, I have lost a lot of friends over the years, way to many to keep track and I feel the lose but but beyond that not much. My store has something of a curse attached to it, basically at least once a year either a co-worker or long term customer dies, this last co-worker was named Paul. The co-worker before that was named Gil he was like a father to me.

Anyways it all got me thinking, if I die what memory will I leave??? will someone call all the people in my cell phones phonebook a year after I die? I doubt it. I have always believed that the only way to live forever is to make a lasting impact on others and to live on in their memories. From ages 17-22 I did that, I helped change many lives, I got people off drugs, I helped people that were depressed, I raised children and teens, I helped homeless teens get off the streets, I influced lives, I was well known. I lost that, I left my friends behind and left behind my old life, now I have two friends, I shun most of my family, and the woman I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with won't even come to my funeral (she hates them). I won't be remembered for anything, I'm just that guy on that website, that guy that helped me with that comic book, that guy that used to teach one of my classes. I need to change that, I need to start making a difference again, and it has to start soon.