At least my cat still loves me.
i just relapsed into an addiction i thought i beat. But of course i did it again. Sometimes i wish my physcological problems didnt affect my health as much as they do. i need some one to hold me. As corny as that sounds. (kill me kill me kill me)
My friend said something to me the other day that bothered the hell out of me. I had just hung out with my friend Kateri the day before. I have know kateri for 3 years now and we are good friends. I told steph that i was frustrated that i couldnt have her. And she said," I would be frustrated to if i was in love with some one for 3 years, and couldnt have her because she's gay" That struck a nerve. I never really said in words or thought of me as being in love with her. But when i heard some one say that. It made me cry. being a guy and falling for a girl thats gay, gives you so many problems you just couldnt imagine. My self esteem is so low i cant stand waking up in the morning knowing i am who i am. i just want to ripp out of my skin. I always feel like i am falling. The thing is i never really realized the extent at wich i felt for her. I just hid it in my mind. I made a lie to myself to make me feel better.
Tomorrow i get to hang out with this girl i havent seen i a year. She hasnt seen me since i lost all my weight. She is so cute. She says "oh dear" alot. Its so funny. I use the word she to much. But anyway, we're going to a club i think. I hope i meet new people. I am sick of almost everyone i hang out with
Why haven't you killed me yet?
1 Is anyone else always disatisfied with life constantly?
2 What is the best way to get rid of an addiction?
3 What instrument do you play, if you dont play an nstrument what is your favorite?
i just relapsed into an addiction i thought i beat. But of course i did it again. Sometimes i wish my physcological problems didnt affect my health as much as they do. i need some one to hold me. As corny as that sounds. (kill me kill me kill me)
My friend said something to me the other day that bothered the hell out of me. I had just hung out with my friend Kateri the day before. I have know kateri for 3 years now and we are good friends. I told steph that i was frustrated that i couldnt have her. And she said," I would be frustrated to if i was in love with some one for 3 years, and couldnt have her because she's gay" That struck a nerve. I never really said in words or thought of me as being in love with her. But when i heard some one say that. It made me cry. being a guy and falling for a girl thats gay, gives you so many problems you just couldnt imagine. My self esteem is so low i cant stand waking up in the morning knowing i am who i am. i just want to ripp out of my skin. I always feel like i am falling. The thing is i never really realized the extent at wich i felt for her. I just hid it in my mind. I made a lie to myself to make me feel better.
Tomorrow i get to hang out with this girl i havent seen i a year. She hasnt seen me since i lost all my weight. She is so cute. She says "oh dear" alot. Its so funny. I use the word she to much. But anyway, we're going to a club i think. I hope i meet new people. I am sick of almost everyone i hang out with
Why haven't you killed me yet?
1 Is anyone else always disatisfied with life constantly?
2 What is the best way to get rid of an addiction?
3 What instrument do you play, if you dont play an nstrument what is your favorite?
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
1. Not always but often. I find myself frustrated when I cant do everything I want
2. Find another one
3. Piano... well used to be able to anyway.... guitar and bass (learning)