Eyes popped open. 3:20 am. Fuck, I can't fall back asleep.
My alarm is going to be going off in less than 2 hours, and I should be at the gym an hour after that.
It's one thing after another. Every week that passes here throws me another knife.
Every week I look back at 'that crazy shit' from last week, and I feel so glad that it's already been 5 or 6 days since it happened. Glad that I finally made it past the initial stabbing pain of the breakup -- then the fears of my dog's demise -- then the betrayal of my best friend -- then the ending of that friendship.... now this.
I guess, in a way, all that shit from the last 6 weeks has been somewhat of a lesson to me for any of this new shit coming down the pipe. I can concentrate on simply looking forward to the future. Next week. Next week I'll be better.
There is something inside me right now that I am missing. Some major point to all this that I have sidestepped. My focus right now is on the wrong thing and it has overtaken me.
A mold spore settled on my soul sometime in the last month and I didn't see it floating in. I didn't even notice the first time it duplicated itself, then tripled, quadrupled,...
only now as I try to open my eyes against the fungus and look out through the fuzz do I realize I forgot to wipe my boots.
My alarm is going to be going off in less than 2 hours, and I should be at the gym an hour after that.
It's one thing after another. Every week that passes here throws me another knife.
Every week I look back at 'that crazy shit' from last week, and I feel so glad that it's already been 5 or 6 days since it happened. Glad that I finally made it past the initial stabbing pain of the breakup -- then the fears of my dog's demise -- then the betrayal of my best friend -- then the ending of that friendship.... now this.
I guess, in a way, all that shit from the last 6 weeks has been somewhat of a lesson to me for any of this new shit coming down the pipe. I can concentrate on simply looking forward to the future. Next week. Next week I'll be better.
There is something inside me right now that I am missing. Some major point to all this that I have sidestepped. My focus right now is on the wrong thing and it has overtaken me.
A mold spore settled on my soul sometime in the last month and I didn't see it floating in. I didn't even notice the first time it duplicated itself, then tripled, quadrupled,...
only now as I try to open my eyes against the fungus and look out through the fuzz do I realize I forgot to wipe my boots.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
The new guy is probably thinking, "Wow, hmmmm. this meal looks good! Guess she really is over him. Seems safe for me to move on in now. Why would any guy give this up?" Don't htey all when they don't bother to know hte bad with the good?
Karma.
Don't feel that way about the bathroom mirror.. you are what you think you are.......
yes, I see that as exactly where he would be. She is a beautiful woman and can be quite entertaining to be around. The only issue is going to come up, however, once they get past the fun, and start falling into the emotional aspects.
Then he'll see another side of her that seems so out of character, and she so obviously doesn't have the potential to get past whatever her deeper issues are that creep in and invade her mental processes when shit gets hard. I am so sad for her in a way, this type of shit is going to follow her around for the rest of her life. Who knows, maybe she's actually going in for therapy right now and she will eventually grow through this, but I doubt it.
As my friend put it last night,
"she's a simple lady"
I guaranteed him that within 2 years, she will be married and pregnant. He doubted it.
One of the reasons I didn't feel positive about marrying her and having a baby was that I was concerned for the babies mental state growing up with her as it's mother. So I will be so sad when that day comes