Up until a couple of weeks ago, my three year old son would throw huge fits whenever I came to pick him up. It wasn't that he didn't want to be with me---he just never wanted to leave his mother.
He would literally bawl until he vomited, and then keep going until he tired himself out, or realized that it wasn't going to change anything. In either case, he was fine afterwards, and we would proceed to have a great time.
That didn't stop me from having all kinds of depressing thoughts, though. I spent a lot of time calming myself down from getting upset and angry, and a lot of time wondering if it would all be better if I just said, "Fuck it." and left him and his mom alone, except for child support.
Of course, that isn't the way to go, and I know that. But when you've been sitting in a parking lot for an hour trying to get your kid to calm down enough so you can go pick something up to eat without people thinking you're beating him when they aren't looking, a lot of things go through your mind.
All of this is to say he stopped that a couple of weeks ago.
And he's now doing something different. Instead of outright wailing when I pick him up, he's happy and excited to go. Then, about an hour after I pick him up he starts to get a sad look in his eyes and say, "I miss Mommy." It gets worse from there, until he starts crying softly to himself.
In some ways, this is even worse than what he was doing before. Back then I knew it was separation anxiety from his mother, and that he would be fine after a while. Now it's like he's excited to go, and then after an hour or two he's done with me and wants to get back to his own life.
We still have a great time, once he's figured out that I'm not taking him back home---no matter how much of a scene he makes.
He did do the cutest thing this evening when I picked him up, though. We were at IHOP when the quiet sobbing started, and he decided he was full (after only a few bites of eggs, and some apple juice). I let him know that if he chose to not eat anything else, he would be hungry later, but he didn't change his mind.
On the way to the car, I told him that if he kept crying, I would take that as a sign he was tired, and we would go to bed when we got home (around 7:30).
He said, "I'm not crying."
And his whole face was over-dramatically pouty and wet with tears, except for his mouth, where he'd pulled his lips back so I could see his teeth.
"See? I'm smiling!"
It was adorable.
He would literally bawl until he vomited, and then keep going until he tired himself out, or realized that it wasn't going to change anything. In either case, he was fine afterwards, and we would proceed to have a great time.
That didn't stop me from having all kinds of depressing thoughts, though. I spent a lot of time calming myself down from getting upset and angry, and a lot of time wondering if it would all be better if I just said, "Fuck it." and left him and his mom alone, except for child support.
Of course, that isn't the way to go, and I know that. But when you've been sitting in a parking lot for an hour trying to get your kid to calm down enough so you can go pick something up to eat without people thinking you're beating him when they aren't looking, a lot of things go through your mind.
All of this is to say he stopped that a couple of weeks ago.
And he's now doing something different. Instead of outright wailing when I pick him up, he's happy and excited to go. Then, about an hour after I pick him up he starts to get a sad look in his eyes and say, "I miss Mommy." It gets worse from there, until he starts crying softly to himself.
In some ways, this is even worse than what he was doing before. Back then I knew it was separation anxiety from his mother, and that he would be fine after a while. Now it's like he's excited to go, and then after an hour or two he's done with me and wants to get back to his own life.
We still have a great time, once he's figured out that I'm not taking him back home---no matter how much of a scene he makes.
He did do the cutest thing this evening when I picked him up, though. We were at IHOP when the quiet sobbing started, and he decided he was full (after only a few bites of eggs, and some apple juice). I let him know that if he chose to not eat anything else, he would be hungry later, but he didn't change his mind.
On the way to the car, I told him that if he kept crying, I would take that as a sign he was tired, and we would go to bed when we got home (around 7:30).
He said, "I'm not crying."
And his whole face was over-dramatically pouty and wet with tears, except for his mouth, where he'd pulled his lips back so I could see his teeth.
"See? I'm smiling!"
It was adorable.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
you're the best.
if you can handle the cold, it's really pretty here right now.
(and awwww thanks.
edit: typo
[Edited on Jan 23, 2005 12:57AM]