Sunday Jun 26, 2005

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i'm defrosting my credit card as we speak...
my lovely roomate has an incredible heart, but very little sence when it comes to using tools, she went out and bought blinds for our living room, and there all at least four inches too short, her solution was to buy tacky stain glass appliques to adhere to the window...so i'm defrosting my credit card to go buy all new blinds befor this gets out of hand...

and she unfourtunatly has pms as well, this is very bad, because she doesn't know how to deal with it, she's been eating sugar and pizza and drinking soda all weekend, while these things feel nice ultimatly they will destroy you and your hormonal imbalance. but shes not listening. i also have to clean the house becaue her boyfriend was here all weekend and theres crap all over. if i was of sound mind someone's head would roll. if i killed him now, people would just say, see women are incapable of reasoning while they have pms.

yeah, so then i'm off to the hardwear store smile love
i love the hardwear store

akasnuggles:
harware stores and, like, autozone and shit--my freinds are hesitant to take me places like that. i sometimes get goofy around shiney things and make an ass out of myself. yeah. i do that shit mostly because i feel uncomfortable around manly things. heh.

my mom quit smoking around 89ish--quit smoking/drinking/sugar/meat/etc. etc. etc. so, yeah, i dont smoke around her. and besides Hell, Damn, Ass, Piss, and the occasional Bitch my parents dont really cuss around "the kids". and so i respect that and reply in kind.
i still have nightmares about saying "fuck" in front of em--that's my "going to school naked" nightmare.

how many sisters you got?
akasnuggles:
"i feel uncomfortable around manly things."...uh, gender issues. yeah.
yup, yup, yup.

are you afraid people are gonna judge you in social situations...maybe because you judge them
i'm totally afraid of being judged--it's a high school hangup.
and i totally judge/label/analyze others. how they speak, what they say, body language--body language is a bit one. you can tell more from body language than anything else.

i've said this before, i have a tendency to offend people, either just to see where they stand or because i'm bloody-bored.

you know the scene in WonderBoys where Crabtree and Tripp are making up a story about Vernan Hardapple? i totally do that. i see someone and i make up a fictional backstory and fictional problems, then i totally psychoanalyze the fake person. i dont even know why i do that, really.

just being there obviously means the people ultimatly accept you
not necessarily. even my closest friends dont accept all of me, in fact, i'd say most of my closest friends dont even know a third of who i really am.
and i find alotta times people--strangers or otherwise--dont actually accept me "in the group" as much as they just settle on me being in the room. like a plant. or a lamp. or something.
or so i presume so.
and this makes me get all defensive, so i'm all, "fuckit, i didnt wanna be a part of the fucking group anyways--fucking assholes."

i find if i make it impossible to accept me i have little chance of being rejected (SEE ALSO: every annoying thing i do). yup.

i mean, i remember once, when sammy and i first started hanging out, i actually poked him in the arm as many times as i could, for as long as i could, just to see how long it would take him to get fed-up and yell or cuss or lash out at me.
there's gotta be some psychological reasoning behind it...and if i werent so tired i'd go on, but it's prolly be more rambling.

i'm totally buying him an ice cream cone smile

i'm gonna go vomit now.

[Edited on Jun 27, 2005 12:46AM]

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