phoolsfire

the very first time i met aaron....
i walked down stairs, i could smell plumaria and coco in the air, with the ocean breeze comming in off the shore.


i looked up.. and wildman said
"melissa, this is mason"
he was perched up in a tree, and i looked up, and i saw him surounded by stars. he said hello. and i was in love. we spent every night together, we listened to david bowie, and tom petty. we would lay in bed and smoke ciggerettes. we would read books together. we never talked about how much we liked each other because we knew he was leaving soon.



so he left.

then i saw him one year later, i asked him..."i have a house, would you like to come to this party?" and i remembered, before, we would just lie in bed and listen to music and smoke, and once...he kissed me on the forehead. but we slept together, every night, with clothes on next toeach other. and so we were in love..
then,
i don't know, it was over, and that was all.

and so here i am years...decades later, and i am with a man that i loved years ago, and still love, but i know...
i have to inquire, am i supposed to be like this,
is every man i love just a recycled memory?

what could i tell you, my brother, my killer, what could i possible say? i guess i forgive youits four in the morning, the end of december, i'm writting you now, to see if your better .new york is cold but ilke where i'm living, theres music on clinton street all through the evening. i hear that your building your little house deep in the desert, your living for nothing now. hope your keeping some kind of record.and jane came by with a locke of your hair, she said that you gave it to her on the night that you planed to go clear, did you ever go clear? the last itme i saw you you looked so much older, your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder. you'd been to the station to meet every train, but you came home alone with out lily marlane.