My Deepest Darkest Confessions
sometimes i have irrational fears.
i think, sometimes, while i'm walking, my ankles are just going to collapse under the weight of me and i won't be able to walk. i'll fall down writhing in pain.
somtimes, i think itching my eye with a screw driver would be a good idea. if my eyeball poped out, i'd like to think i could make it all the way down my street to the hospital with my eye in a plastic cup, i'd like to think i'd be able to keep my composure, i'd be able to fill out the forms in the er room and then wait patiently for the nurse on duty to call my name.
somtimes i think i have lice.... but its just dry scalp.
i pick my nose a lot.
im afraid of my mothers family, and i have a rather low opinion of them. when i see them its hard to imagine that they could possibly be related to me. or that for some wierd scientific reason, the government has allowed them to keep breeding.
i frequently have crushes on boys in my classes, but this only lasts for about two weeks, then i become disgusted with them.
i miss my stupid and reckless youth, and my exboyfriend
sometimes i have irrational fears.
i think, sometimes, while i'm walking, my ankles are just going to collapse under the weight of me and i won't be able to walk. i'll fall down writhing in pain.
somtimes, i think itching my eye with a screw driver would be a good idea. if my eyeball poped out, i'd like to think i could make it all the way down my street to the hospital with my eye in a plastic cup, i'd like to think i'd be able to keep my composure, i'd be able to fill out the forms in the er room and then wait patiently for the nurse on duty to call my name.
somtimes i think i have lice.... but its just dry scalp.
i pick my nose a lot.
im afraid of my mothers family, and i have a rather low opinion of them. when i see them its hard to imagine that they could possibly be related to me. or that for some wierd scientific reason, the government has allowed them to keep breeding.
i frequently have crushes on boys in my classes, but this only lasts for about two weeks, then i become disgusted with them.
i miss my stupid and reckless youth, and my exboyfriend
i often fear that i'm arrogant for no reason. that i'll fail at everything and am doomed to a meaningless existence being overly critical of whatever anyone creates. or, atleast the things that are better than things that i can create.
I often fear that i'm wrong in my basic fundamental truths.
I often fear that, because of my over critical nature that i'm doomed to a lonely life of being overly critical and alone. Doomed, over critical and alone.
And bored as fuck, apparently. With a lot of cats.
I sometimes look over a balcony at the ground below/a tree in the distance/a space between buildings/coat racks and think Yeah...i can make that.
i'm afraid i'll never be taken seriously.
I often mask my fears by acting in a manner which confirms my fears.
I save my fingernails. Seriously.
I also have a great disdain for my family. But the ones on my father's side. I feel the same way about the rest of it.
Cops: It's weird, but i've met some really neat cops. they're few and far between, but that's beyond the point. Cpt. Steeev, the head security gaurd where i work, used to be a vice cop. he was an undercover john and some slick, naked whore kneecapped him. which is why he works security.
Ice T is the SHIT on SVU! him and Belzer are the coolest.
it all depends. it's more Hip-Hop that's geared to "selling out," but then there's...like, Queen of the Damned, which had Aaliya and Jon Davis (Korn), that was a ploy to sell recoeds.
Spun had Jason Swartzman(former drummer for phantom planet), Rob Halford, and Billy Corgan, and Debrah Harry in it, again, there was an emphasis on the soundtrack.
There's this short film with Maynard James Keenan (Tool, APC) and Brad Wilk (Rage Against The Machine, AudioSlave), but i dont think theres any real...like...soundtrack tie-in thingie.
SLC Punk! had 8 Bucks Experiment in it, another emphasis on the soundtrack. But that movie was kinda ABOUT music...kinda. so thats cool...i think
there's more, i know it. i actually had another example, but forgot it. and besides...i cant remember my original point. so this is as good place as any to end it.
Reckless youth makes rueful age.
err...i got nothing about exboyfriends...err
carve your future out with a gun and a axe.......live peacefully with ki :