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phoolsfire

bright lights big city, lots of dirt

Member Since 2003

Followers 19 Following 13

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Tuesday Nov 08, 2005

Nov 8, 2005
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i feel like damaged goods...
i called a "friend" this evening so that i could talk things out, to try to feel a little better, after having a shitty day, again, i know its hormonal, i know i have issues, i did not, however want to talk about my own short commings, so when said friend took it upon himself to say, "well the reason your so unhappy is because you have self esteam issues, and your insecure, you need to learn to love yourself" i became enraged, and hurt. and ultimatly devistated, this compleatly defeated the purpose of calling on the help of a friend,

these are all things i know, and i was never this insecure before, and i am lonely, but goddamit, if you leave a relationship that you felt loved and secure in for three years, this is bound to happen. i know this
some people call it soul sickness, or soul loss. whatever it is, it is what i am experienceing, i know this. i didn't need someone to hit me over the head with the things i'm trying to combat every night.....

so right now i feel so alone, even more than before, i feel insecure, and like less of a person for wanting acceptance and human attention.

this is gonna make my days ahead very difficult,
thanks friend for articulating my doubt.

i don't think i can get out of bed tomorrow.
hornitos:
sometimes when i'm black and blue, and i happen to be on this web-site, getting more depressed thinking about all the girls i'll never get my clammy little hands on, i check out my 'testimonials' . . and it makes me wonder how, even though i say the most ridiculous, nonsensical and sometimes downright despicable things . .someone see's thru all that and let's me know . .i'm not alone after all . .and they might even consider me a friend or at least cheap entertainment. . so i hope you can crawl to your computer tomorrow and read yours. .
sorry about your head and heart-aches .
wish i could be a pillow for ya, . .even though i'm kinda edgy. . wish i could cleanse ya'.

blush

don't know where that came from . . but it's true. .



smile
Nov 8, 2005
akasnuggles:

Nov 9, 2005

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