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phoenixshadow

Where I feel at home or where I am from or Where I am living now?

Member Since 2003

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Saturday Aug 21, 2004

Aug 20, 2004
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WARNING: I am in a whiny mood now

Amazing how a pop song (or I should say a Punk Pop song just in case the previous statement might bother anyone) can suddenly cause you to start crying like a baby.
It is almost seven in the morning, and I am still awake (insomnia is a game we can all play) watching lame ass videos on MTV hoping to see something worth watching cause nothing else is on, and the new Avril Lavigne video "Happy Ending" comes on, and it perfectly describes my last relationship. Now this relationship is done, not going back for anything, but it still hurts sometimes.

Other songs also hit hard, like Sarah McLachlan's Stupid, all but screaming at me! Asking why was I that big of a dumb ass, why didn't I leave sooner!?!?

Love is a screwed up thing. Hell, the last time I slept, had a dream about another girl whom I met while I was in the last relationship with the moral of the dream being "You could've had me, but now it is too late." How messed up is that?! Could be why I am not sleeping cause it hit that hard. This other girl is beautiful, fun, amazing to see perform her music on stage, and seemingly really kind. I believe dreams have some significant, I wish I knew it of this one, because I know the other girl doesn't feel the same about me. Okay, don't know it, but where I haven't talked to her since Febuary. I keep telling myself it is only because she is busy with her music, but I doubt it.

Amazing how I ramble sometimes. I only meant to write about this freaking video, and I didn't even get into how it hit me did I? Went off onto a different tangent about someone else. Blame it on the lack of sleep I suppose. Here is a piece of the song which ill probably sum it all up. Thanks for reading.

"You were all the things I thought I knew, and I thought we could be.
You were everything, everything that I wanted, and we were supposed to
be suppose to be, but we lost it, and all the memories so close to me just fade away, all this time you were pretending so much for my happy ending."
poptart_rock:
hey sunshine, sorry to hear about the restless night. i hate when the morning rays seep through the blind in a desperate attempt to keep you aggrevated beyond all hell. but in other news, we are due for our first hang out. any day but tuesday or friday looks good for me this week. let me know, pumpkin! smile
Aug 22, 2004

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