Hollow echoes of tormented screams reverberate through my skull. I find myself without sleep or the ability to do so. My thoughts keep wandering back to her and I'm unsure as to why... I can see her old room, smell it, see her smile, her delicate smile, taste her kisses... it's been two and a half years hence, yet the wound has re-opened itself as if it were only yesterday. Words lack tto describe the feelings of which I feel. I'm confused, alone, yet desiring solitude, angry, frustrated, yet laid back and peaceful, I'm patient and rash, I feel myself bounding with energy, yet lack the will to use it. Forlorn thoughts bringing unwelcome pains to the surface causing these remorseful musings that lead nowhere but circles. I wish I could find the strength to step out and do something but I have hardly the strength to breathe. Iknow what I'm typing may be grim or depressed, but I'm being honest with myself, as well, I need someway, some device... this... to simply relay thoughts of mine before they devour me whole. This school yaer looks to be pressing... this year looks to be pressing. It looks like I'm finally going to get the rest of my books but I feel as if I'm drowning in a sea of work that I will never find my way out of, The information seems simple enough but I'm worried that I will not remember it all come test time... as well, attending class in itself is an effort, the hour and 10 minute drive there, the 35 minutes to find a parking place, sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it to even spend the gas in my car which is decaying like a corpse in its grave. I guess on a lighter note I do have resolution of where I'm going, I just wish I had the kinds of support I think I need, though if they were readily available I'd probably find some other reason to complain. I keep telling myself that there's more to it and to be more optimisticm that I'm just seeing one side to an infinitely sided die.. It's just difficult... very very difficult. I also apologize for any typos as I'm not wearing my glasses and thus cannot see this text, Im just typing as it comes to me blindly. I cannot foresee the future, I cannot percieve the past, life is all a dream to me and nothing's meant to last. Optimism's a good idea but rather hard to grasp, beauty can be seen in everything but reaching it is certainly a difficult task. So many words so many pictures so many frames so many ideas, everyone has their own yet all is merely the same. These midnight musings carry a midway tune to confuse the wits of many. For in this riddle of consequence lays ta message hence. I bring myself up and let myself down, I go through it all yet go through nothing,. I fight with myself over things about and the result is always to not do anything. I stress and I shout, I scream to the skies, I weep for the passing of nature's lullabies. This cyclone, this tornado, this hurricane, this chaos, where are you sweet butterfly whose wings are so lovely? I knew you once long ago but time is a beast no so easily conquered nor is her brother of circumstance. I wish we had never parted ways I wish we could continue this dance. But all things good and bad will surely come to end. Though take note that even though everything must end, more things will be born in the echoes of this endless dance... don't ask... 