REFLECTIONS:
today has been one of those days where i just sit and think back on the years. the main question that always pops up on days like today is "What If???" i'm sure we all have those days but i can't help but contemplate the difference in my life if had done some things differently. i guess today's main what if has been regarding my first couple years in the army. i was stationed here at leavenworth and i was dating a girl pretty much the entire time. this was pretty much my first real "adult" relationship. we had our problems and such and i found myself encountered with a situation where my roommate's girlfriend had a friend that they wanted to hook me up with. i must admit, those couple/few weeks were some of the best in my memory. we weren't really dating or anything but she was very kind and caring and very very pretty. all good things. we all 4 went to a concert together and went back to her house to watch movies. she acted as if we'd been dating for years. she was "taking care of me" so to speak. not in the sexual sense but making sure i was comfortable, making me food, drink, ect...it was awesome. i recall on one VERY rare occasion when i had gotten sick, we were at my roommate's gf's house and the girl was there as well and she was taking care of me then too. making sure i had medicine, cold rag on the forehead anything i needed, she was there. now, the rough part comes along where i make a decision to stay with the girl i'd been dating. what can i say, i loved her...still do actually. prolly always will....but see, i'm that type of person. if i truly love someone, i always will. so anyway, i went back and stayed with my gf and even back then wondered what if. what if i stayed with the girl. how could my life be different. and now, today, i've thought a great deal back to that time. what if i had stayed with paige. what would i be doing...where would i be...how would life be different. all these things hold a great deal of intrigue for me. i understand i can never go back and do it all over again...not even really sure if i'd want to, but it sure would be interesting. all in all, i'm glad i stayed with felicia because she really is a great girl. i loved her very much then and still do today. we had some bad times but have overcome them i think and we are friends. we still talk online periodically. i hope to always remain her friend and be able to stay in contact with her. she helped me become who and what i am today. some folks might not thank her for that, but who cares really.
so anyway, i know we all have reflective days. i'd love to hear some of yours if you care to share.
today has been one of those days where i just sit and think back on the years. the main question that always pops up on days like today is "What If???" i'm sure we all have those days but i can't help but contemplate the difference in my life if had done some things differently. i guess today's main what if has been regarding my first couple years in the army. i was stationed here at leavenworth and i was dating a girl pretty much the entire time. this was pretty much my first real "adult" relationship. we had our problems and such and i found myself encountered with a situation where my roommate's girlfriend had a friend that they wanted to hook me up with. i must admit, those couple/few weeks were some of the best in my memory. we weren't really dating or anything but she was very kind and caring and very very pretty. all good things. we all 4 went to a concert together and went back to her house to watch movies. she acted as if we'd been dating for years. she was "taking care of me" so to speak. not in the sexual sense but making sure i was comfortable, making me food, drink, ect...it was awesome. i recall on one VERY rare occasion when i had gotten sick, we were at my roommate's gf's house and the girl was there as well and she was taking care of me then too. making sure i had medicine, cold rag on the forehead anything i needed, she was there. now, the rough part comes along where i make a decision to stay with the girl i'd been dating. what can i say, i loved her...still do actually. prolly always will....but see, i'm that type of person. if i truly love someone, i always will. so anyway, i went back and stayed with my gf and even back then wondered what if. what if i stayed with the girl. how could my life be different. and now, today, i've thought a great deal back to that time. what if i had stayed with paige. what would i be doing...where would i be...how would life be different. all these things hold a great deal of intrigue for me. i understand i can never go back and do it all over again...not even really sure if i'd want to, but it sure would be interesting. all in all, i'm glad i stayed with felicia because she really is a great girl. i loved her very much then and still do today. we had some bad times but have overcome them i think and we are friends. we still talk online periodically. i hope to always remain her friend and be able to stay in contact with her. she helped me become who and what i am today. some folks might not thank her for that, but who cares really.
so anyway, i know we all have reflective days. i'd love to hear some of yours if you care to share.
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:S
im in one of those now too.