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phoebus

Prata di Pordenone

Member Since 2002

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Friday Dec 31, 2004

Dec 31, 2004
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Wow, this past month has been rather rough. Rough enough, at any rate, that I didn't even really feel like updating this journal. I think I'm just going to vent for venting's sake, so I'm sorry if I come off rambling/incoherent.

1) Honesty. I like to think that people appreciate this. I know I appreciate people being honest with me, so I try to be honest in return. It's been my distinct pleasure this month to find out that some people don't really reward honesty. I'd rather not go into detail.

2) Common courtesy. I like to think of myself as a rather nice guy. I try, at any rate, to be a nice guy. But it's true what people say... nice guys do finish last.

With those two items in mind, I'd love to do nothing more right now than kick my own ass for taking this job "offer." I thought it would be great to finish off my last year in the active duty Air Force doing a high-echelon job with oversight over training and evaluations for about 500-600 key personnel. In fact, I was a fucking idiot. I gave up the chance to finish strong with my own team, leading guys I knew and liked, calling my own shots, and running my own show. Instead, I'm stuck (for another 14 days, anyways) with people who don't mean what they say, try to ignore reality on a daily basis, despise "outside-the-container" thinking, and change your job description/position the day after the guy who gave it to you leaves for another unit.

Folks, it's bad enough that I volunteered to deploy just to escape the insanity. I'm not even sure what I'll do when I get there--the deployment was a favor from one person who cared to listen and help me out, and the job I'm supposed to be doing is largely unnecessary. I imagine that once I get there I'll be cut loose to whore myself out to one team or another.

So, on to Christmas. That's when you suddenly clue into the ramifications of your own decisions. When you realize that just because you're not worried about deploying anymore, it doesn't mean other people won't be devastated by it. I was so consumed by my own worries and concerns that I never really stopped to think how other people would be affected.

New Year's Eve is coming up, and I'm heading back down to Charleston to throw one last bash with friends. Nothing like a couple dozen beers and champagne to stifle worries and concern.

On to the (somewhat) brighter side of things.

I've decided that, since I'm officially counting down (11 months, 13 days), I'm also going to try to avoid any haircuts that involve anything more than keeping hair off of my ears and above my collar. I might have to invest a fortune in hair gel, but I want to see how far I can push this (without looking too ridiculous) before my bosses flip.

Wait... I just ran out of bright side. But I'm sure I'll find something nice to add come tomorrow.

Happy New Year's to you all. smile

EDIT--New Year's Resolution: to be more honest and responsible with my relationships... and to... not get shot!
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
corvinus:
Hello Phoebus,

Hope the hair gel mutiny works out well.
I picked up a really cool book about a week ago. I had gone to the bookstore looking to buy "Greek Gods, Human Lives", but then I saw something else: "Greek Religion", by Walter Burkert.
I don't know how interested you are in the religious views of the Ancients...it is something I find very fascinating.
Evidently this book is considered a classic on the subject, with good reason too.

All right, take it easy

Adios

P.S.
I hope your New Year works out, and I pray you will avoid any and all "work related injuries".
Jan 10, 2005
pauillac:
I responded to a couple of your questions in the Abu Ghraib thread. I recommend Seymour Hersh's new book : Chain of Command.
I think it would intrigue you.

Watch out for the smokes - it's a fucker of a habit to kick once you're hooked.
Jan 11, 2005

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