phlaxus

Wow. I just watched the last 30 minutes of Terminator 2. That was one of my top five favorite movies back then. I saw that movie in the theatres when I was 11. It was one of the few times I ever got to go to the movies when I was a kid. It's the little things like that that make a difference. I remember going out to see this movie on one of the few days in my life that my family wasn't horrendously self-distructing.

I got to see the end where the Terminator is lowered into the molten steel. In retrospect, I realize there was still hope for me then. I remember how I felt at that time. I was angry and hurt by all which had been done to me, but my life could have still turned out normal if everything from that point on could have been set OK...but it wasn't.

So here I am, lamenting much of the experience of the last 15 years. Many good things have happened, but the bad overshadows almost all of it. It colors my vision daily. There's one thing that I would not trade for anything and would go through it all again if that were the only way. I love my girl. There's no one even remotely like her. I'd walk through hell & back for her (and considering all I've gone through, it would be easy).

So...even if everything else is shitty, I've got her. I have something which makes the world seem right and just. It's nice. I went so long without that, but it just makes it all the sweeter when it finally occurs.

Also, I found a neat web site which gives rediculous amounts of info on movies -- stuff IMDB doesn't do (watch out for the popups):
Box Office Mojo