Hey my loves,
I just wanted to let you know that even positive people like me have "those days" where I just feel a little, like... like I've lost my way.
I'm putting it down to holiday blues, the fact that winter is fast approaching here in the UK, or the fact I told the guy I like that I had feelings for him and he told me he just wants to stay how we are, which cripples me. An old manipulative narcissistic ex also decided to get in touch out of the blue last night which upset me as I'd only just gotten over that relationship a year ago, after he cheated multiple times and I thought I had managed to block out that toxicity completely.
Sometimes things really suck and we are allowed to accept that we aren't going to feel amazing about it.
But you know what? Even though I feel so defeated and am wondering what is wrong with me, I know deep down that I'm enough. That I'm a good person. And that I will be ok. It just takes time and for me to think positively again. I've got a lot of good things going for me. I've got my health. I did a week's work in a day today and feel so productive - it's not even 4pm yet. I'm seeing all my friends again now I'm home and have made plans to see me through the next few weeks at least. I have another holiday in December. I'm moving to my own place this weekend after a road trip to watch NXT UK. I've got good people that care about me and will tell me I'm being silly if I think I'm not good enough for others. And, so importantly, I've got you guys. You guys mean everything.
I am so blessed to have all of these things and more. I could be a lot less fortunate and, when I think about it or put it like that, I'm already starting to feel better about myself. I just need to keep going. Keep believing in myself. Keep being the nice kindhearted soul I want everyone to see and just allow the universe to do its magic along the ride.
That's pretty much it. I just needed to get that out there. I love you all 🧡
@missy @rambo @eirenne @teal @dear
