phenomenater

i honestly feel like nothing is going right in my life right now....
its really horrible, and i feel sick. im so upset about so many things, and nobody is going to make it easier on me or try to take away the pain because im an adult now and i have to do that myself. i have to go to work and do that for other people.

i wish i could hire someone to do it for me. i wish i had a switch in my brain that i could just flip on and off when i didnt want to care about things or feel emotion.

but i dont.

i wish i had more money, i wish i had a perfect relationship, i wish school was eaiser. i wish i wasnt sick. im a mess, and im falling apart. i cant call anyone to talk, i cant do anything.
i know all my journal entries have just been shitty and sad lately and im sorry...but i have to put it somehwere.


i dont know what to do with myself. i honestly for the first time just feel like going to sleep and not waking up. and even that thought makes me more sad. it seems like right now im in a no win situation. and i wish someone could make it all better. anyone. but i just have to do it for myself....if i can.