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phelonie

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Member Since 2005

Followers 12 Following 14

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Sunday Jun 12, 2005

Jun 11, 2005
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im feeling bitter and that mean its time for an up date.
i got rained on today, it sucked ass. i was walking too and damn if a nice walk can turn to complete shit in the rain.
im lonely.
mallorie has the blues. mallorie is preparing for meltdown. mallorie is being over emotional. mallorie is posting liz phair lyrics. mallorie needs to sit down and give herself a pep-talk. mallorie wants to be better for you. mallorie is constantly disappointed in herself. mallorie is bitter. mallorie wants to be happy, for you. mallorie feels flat gray. mallorie wants to be loved shes not a bad person ya know, not to complex either, she just wants to be held and loved. mallorie feels like a small child. mallorie was once strong, or detached, depends on how you look at it. mallorie was once an anthem.
what would it take?
what would it take...
i feel small, i feel shitty. i feel like a lie. i feel insufficient.
i wish i was strong enough to walk away.
i wish i was strong enough.
am i the last romantic?
am i the only one who see that its worth the risk?
im not the only one who has been crushed, im not alone in my rejection. i know, i know, i know...the risk?

but im not enough.

i came to soon...to late...? i could never.
i wish this was my resignation.
i should walk away.
you never see it, its not that ive forgotten, or that i dont notice, its only this constant feeling for rejection.
and wondering
and wondering, how long? how long do i have.
im here only for the broken, im here only as a salve the burnt, im only useful until the wound heals, im only good enough for comfort.
goddamn it HOW MANY MORE TIMES????
im fucking sick of rebuilding, how can i be so young and so tired? is this burning out? have i been taken for what im worth? how many more times? ive been fooled, i been tricked, and now with this new insight, i feel used.

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