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phatchief666

United Kingdom

Member Since 2004

Followers 12 Following 18

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Monday Nov 01, 2004

Nov 1, 2004
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You know it's very rare that I feel the need to complain about anything but this needs to be said even if it is just to get it out my system.

This year has been the worst year of my life. A total uphill struggle, just no end to the bullshit I have had to deal with. If these episodes came to me one at a time then I might be able to handle it differently, but it doesn't, it all comes at once.

We are nearing closure on this year and I have to say I will completely wipe this year out of my memory.

Since the beginning of the year I have to deal with, deep breath, a paticuarly messy break up, harrasment at work, clinical stress, visits to the counsellor, the death of one my best mates, threats from jealous ex boyfriends, an unfortunate trip to somewhere not very nice (listen to your teachers kids) and a girl I've never even met trying to stub a ciggarette out on my elbow for no apparent reason.... and relax.

I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take before I go crazy.... this constant feeling of negativity just envelopes me....

I think some higher being is smiteing me for 22 years of a fairly easy ride. I'm a nice guy, I honestly am, I have a good job, I pay my bills, I go to see my mum at weekends, I smile, I try to be positive, I respect other human beings..... SO WHY DO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH SO MUCH CRAP !?!?!?!?

I am tired and emotionally drained, so much that I'm writing bout my personal life on a website so a bunch of people I only know in a virtual existence can read about it.

Is it catharsis ? Whats going to happen next ? The next thing I'll know is I'll be watching the US elections and the monkey known as George Dubya Bush will be back in power, then we're all fucked.

So, please, someone help me, let me cook you dinner or something.... someone bring something positive into my otherwise pretty shit year.

And I promise I will never, ever write in so much detail about my personal life.

Thanks for listening.
itzjusme:
I'm sorry things are not feeling so great right now. I can totally feel ya. I have been there and I have asked myself the same questions many times. what works for me is just keeping everything in perspective...if you can go through a shitload of bs and still be a great person you will be fine. trust me I have been through it. I just got out of a 6 year relationship that was fucked up and abusive...I have bipolar depression...i work and go to school fulltime. my family is screwed.... i moved out on my own when i was a junior in high school. things have not been easy...but keep yourself in mind. i know it is hard when you feel drained. you do seem like a good person and it's hard to take so much at the same time. i'm sorry about all of that shit. i am not sure if i am helping...i think i am rambling. i just wanted you to know that i care and i understand. been there. kiss kiss
keep in touch.
Nov 1, 2004

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