look whos back
- i felt i could use a familiar ground. a panic attack and psychotic episode have been kicking my ass for about 6hrs now. im too tired to hold back so ahead may be some things id never mention in stronger states
- dropped off a resume at one place today. i hope i get hired. i went to drop off a 2nd down the street but they were closed.
- last year i met a girl named noa and developed an instant crush on her but hardly ever saw her. shes in a few of my classes now and we've been talking tonnes, and she always sits behind me in chemistry. late last semester i found out she and her boyfriend broke up, and from the looks of things it seems she still single. i was going to ask her out today but she wasnt feeling well so i left her alone to hurl after class. i dunno how my chances are. shes said she likes a shirt, some shoes and pants different times which seems like quite a few compliments, but she ignores me often to chill with her friends. last monday was one such day and i was so jealous i got my elbow tattood just so shed notice me a little (its a rocking spider web with green shadows). it worked and she was very impressed the next day. its not healing so well though so ive been keeping it covered (ironic huh?). once it heals more im going to get it redone.
- on tuesday i have an essay outline and a research report due. the essay outline needs to be 1/2pg, but it needs to describe what our 12-14pg essay is going to be about. not only do i have no ideas what to write 12 pages about but i also dont even have the textbook yet for the course so i cant do any work on it over the weekend. the bookstore is sending all the books back on monday, but if i get there bright and early i should be able to pick one up before they leave. i know ive put it off a while but moneys tight. the research report is a bit easier, just 2 pgs about diabetes for genetics. but in an instant of sheer genius i threw out the paper that says what we need to write about (diagnosis, symptoms....) so on monday ill have to do the essay outline AND find someone to get what we're supposed to write about off, AND write that report.
- the above 2 pts played a major role in waking the fucking voices in my head that wont shut the fuck up.
- i plan on asking noa out the next time i get her alone. i large part of me doesnt want to because im not used to dealing with people. its thought schizoid is caused by never feeling close to anyone in your life, which leads to schizophrenia which is why i have it. now all of a sudden being close to someone seems overwhelming. as much as i like her ive never trusted anyone and that will take a lot of getting used to. besides, i wouldnt be surprised if she runs off when she found out im sick. shes kinda morbid too and into horror. im gonna give her a little zombie teddy bear on valentines day.
- i also have tons of notes i need to catch up on
- 2 weeks till i see my doc again. im gonna see about getting off these meds cuz they dont seem to help a whole lot and they make my mouth SO dry.
- i felt i could use a familiar ground. a panic attack and psychotic episode have been kicking my ass for about 6hrs now. im too tired to hold back so ahead may be some things id never mention in stronger states
- dropped off a resume at one place today. i hope i get hired. i went to drop off a 2nd down the street but they were closed.
- last year i met a girl named noa and developed an instant crush on her but hardly ever saw her. shes in a few of my classes now and we've been talking tonnes, and she always sits behind me in chemistry. late last semester i found out she and her boyfriend broke up, and from the looks of things it seems she still single. i was going to ask her out today but she wasnt feeling well so i left her alone to hurl after class. i dunno how my chances are. shes said she likes a shirt, some shoes and pants different times which seems like quite a few compliments, but she ignores me often to chill with her friends. last monday was one such day and i was so jealous i got my elbow tattood just so shed notice me a little (its a rocking spider web with green shadows). it worked and she was very impressed the next day. its not healing so well though so ive been keeping it covered (ironic huh?). once it heals more im going to get it redone.
- on tuesday i have an essay outline and a research report due. the essay outline needs to be 1/2pg, but it needs to describe what our 12-14pg essay is going to be about. not only do i have no ideas what to write 12 pages about but i also dont even have the textbook yet for the course so i cant do any work on it over the weekend. the bookstore is sending all the books back on monday, but if i get there bright and early i should be able to pick one up before they leave. i know ive put it off a while but moneys tight. the research report is a bit easier, just 2 pgs about diabetes for genetics. but in an instant of sheer genius i threw out the paper that says what we need to write about (diagnosis, symptoms....) so on monday ill have to do the essay outline AND find someone to get what we're supposed to write about off, AND write that report.
- the above 2 pts played a major role in waking the fucking voices in my head that wont shut the fuck up.
- i plan on asking noa out the next time i get her alone. i large part of me doesnt want to because im not used to dealing with people. its thought schizoid is caused by never feeling close to anyone in your life, which leads to schizophrenia which is why i have it. now all of a sudden being close to someone seems overwhelming. as much as i like her ive never trusted anyone and that will take a lot of getting used to. besides, i wouldnt be surprised if she runs off when she found out im sick. shes kinda morbid too and into horror. im gonna give her a little zombie teddy bear on valentines day.
- i also have tons of notes i need to catch up on
- 2 weeks till i see my doc again. im gonna see about getting off these meds cuz they dont seem to help a whole lot and they make my mouth SO dry.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
Happy Birthday hun
Happy birthday.