phantomvi

i am plunging myself into melodrama this weekend...
for quite some time now i've been avoiding films and music (and ideas, really) that are too upsetting, too unnerving...and i've been trying to play happy things on the guitar and keyboards...
--now roa is trying to climb up into my lap....
okay, she's succeeded...--
but i think it was on thursday night that i decided: well, fuck all that...
it's sort of a cross pollination thing, different ideas and notions sparking and at the same time providing fuel for others...and at this point i see no reason to not let those things germinate and grow....
and grow and grow and hopefully evolve and change into splendorous things...
--i need a cigarette now--
okay, right now i'm watching the remake of solaris...the original film is one of my all time...well, it would be cheap to call it a favorite...it's one of those works of art you see that completely changes the way you think, the way you behave, the way you are...something that resounds in you so strongly...
and you know, the remake isn't half-bad...and i think the remake portrays some realities that the original never addressed...not to give it too much credit, though....there are so many elements of the original that the remake doesn't even brush up against...things that didn't need so much exposition...
so for almost a year now i've been ducking away from anything that would make me think too much...
the vast multitude of experiences in this life that i will never know....i was terrified by them....
now i embrace them as lovers...
so this weekend i will be embracing of what i've neglected for the past ten months..
i'll be embracing the person i should be...
the person i will be...
the person i am...

and Rick James is dead