Wednesday Sep 08, 2004

0
off to have more colours and pain take away others from my mind......

it's tit for tat - every little prick pulls back out some of the demons waiting to rip me apart...this way it keeps me from becoming consumed inside myself like i once was............
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
trent:
indeed..
emylou:
Thanks for the comment on my set! biggrin kiss

Sunday Sep 05, 2004

0
there's nothing like going to a good party and dancing your ass off until five in the morning to help your head stop hurting from all the demons slamming into it's walls.......bloody nose and all!

from now on.every saturday night......same party same fun...the first good party i've found in nyc..

Wednesday Sep 01, 2004

0
so.....three atom bombs in an hour and my brain/heart is completely dead.

how can fear turn someone into a machine that runs from the oil that after so many years of slowly wearing thin of creaking and gears growing tired soon to die if it doesn't recieve an overhaul and oil to make it live?

VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
fergs:
well, the devil wasn't horned. he's gorgeous and actually has a lot of different faces.

why am i saying he? sometimes the devil is a girl. it depends on who i'm in love with.

the point is that sooner or later everybody turns into devil, you know?

so i keep on sleeping with him/ her over and over

kisses

miao!!
pezboy7416:
like their fears....

which flavor?

they're all the fuckin devil.



new ink in pics to remind................

[Edited on Sep 02, 2004 12:14AM]

Sunday Aug 22, 2004

0
why are you so scared?..why are so afraid to have something you've wanted for so long?why can't you trust that i'm not going to hurt you?why do you have to keep telling me you love me it's just hard for you?whay can't you stop being so fucking afraid?........

questions i keep asking my amazing/scared g/f and i never can get a fucking response,,,,i know why...
Read More
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
fergs:
do you really think younger is better? and why can't i be the younger one? hehehhe. anyway. in this case it wasn't. maybe next time... for a while all i can keep on saying is:

i slept with the devil

that ends up being my life filosofy

kissa

miao!!
stillifegaijin:
less than a month - i'm counting - i'm coming.

Saturday Jul 24, 2004

0
and here forth is the longest note i've ever lft on my sg fridge.....

so .......... it's been awhile and my life has changed in these past two weeks more than i ever thought possible......

we (stillifegaijin) always do this.... we fall so fast it's like we were never standing up...... so we do and we are.

she is the most amazing mesmerizing delightfully un-assuming...
Read More
stillifegaijin:
my reply. (late but it here)

the sunshine heals. the world tastes better than it feels (sometimes) - we fall. fast. i'm not sure what makes me get out of bed anymore but if i need to prove myself to anyone, you're right, it's me. only me.

our arms are long. this country isn't as wide as it seems. we are reaching.

i've given in and accepted that there is more to the world than sound. sound makes everything else possible but everything else is nes-es-scary. we want more from the world. from these people. i'm over. the past is finally dead.

think.

there is nobody left...m is still loved but so far away. aside from her, you are my oldest friend that still matters. it took awhile but i realize that i am happy this way - starting over - leave NY and find this freedom - NYC is still too tied to the ATL. i am gone. you are the only one i wish to have here.

but a warning - it is real and i may go to korea for some time next august...six months...a year...no more than a year. only if my love stays with me and we figure it all out. i will go and return and be fresh. maybe it will all fall apart but the possibility is there - i am realizing i need change, constantly, more experiences. more of a world to write about - and i believe that B may be the one. so we tie our lives together - but not at the expense of anyone else that i love ------ i have ideas of how to make it work. but i warn. - still, this place, this life is finally all that i had planned with HER but lost. i found a more earthly and concrete version. one that feels like home and not a film i'm trying to cast myself in. B makes me feel closer to the people i love not distanced. come join the party.

well, i've lost track nd i'm not sure how much of this is a response and how much is my solution to your equations. at best i's only a partial solution. i've lost a decimal point somewhere and get graded mediocre.

want to know a secret? she said those words...it really happened.

and i feel the same for you...and us for ghosts...and ghost for no one.

love.

Friday Jul 02, 2004

0
waiting. i'm waiting for the day to come and say when it's ready to take me to the other side of this destitute continent and give to me the truths that's it's been promising around every corner...hiding around every lightpost and billboard.

my one is sitting in the place where we'll be two and at long last in the same fucking city....

the excitement and...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
sassy:
you won't find the truth in l.a.... i'm thinking of going to your side of the "destitute continent" to find the truth, myself.

grass is always greener?

or did i misunderstand you?
pezboy7416:
nope.you read it right...

hmm..

Saturday Jun 12, 2004

0
so i'm trying to understand the difference between being alone and being alienated....

alone seems to be fine with me.it's how i always end up and spend most of my time bue being alienated is starting to get to me. especially since i'm not sure what to do about it. feeling seems to be my curse. i wanna be numb and not care about anything.....
Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
karismic:
hmmmm...interesting, i must say i do enjoy being sad sometimes, i like pain and hurting. but i find sometimes i find it gets to be to much and i have to try and change it. maybe thats cause i'm a wishy washy person or it's cause i'm a girl and they have there ups and downs.

i notied winks makes you happy,
wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink

pezboy7416:
yes they do..........

temporal happiness and loving friends is keeping me afloat.

Thursday Jun 03, 2004

0
so the air is starting to feel beautiful all the time...nyc is getting harder to live in cos i know i'm leaving in five months...(yay). i love it here but l.a. is calling and it's getting harder to plug my ears.

a. is there a. loves my mix cd's i make for her. a. says they're better than any she's ever been given. a. makes...
Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
pezboy7416:
it's all good yo, juss lizzie me on the hizzie ya.

a said she's coming after the first of july and i'm gonna try to plan it all soon cos i gotta tell david cos i wanna take my other week of vacation when you guyses are here. so. it's cool just let me know when you can.........but i can't the first week of august so hopefully that confuses everything a little more cos that's what i like to do and i do it right yo!

love you fucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!
stillifegaijin:
love you too...

Saturday May 22, 2004

0
it's my descision..it's for the best. everytime she calls or a i want to call her i think i'm gonna go mad.....

oh shit..wait.. i already am.oh well.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
mallory:
youre an SG collector!!!!
pezboy7416:
After carefully laughing just hard enough to snap a couple of ribs but not to puncture my mashed-up,thrown-out,too-soft heart.....i admit yes...i am.... robot
Join Now to see more