Hi Kids,
I've been conspicuous by my absence here and no doubt you've noticed the disappearance of my blog feature The Crushing Corner. It wasn't intentional but life severely has gotten in the way the past few months.
This past February, my partner of three years decided to end our relationship (on our anniversary no less). This was of course after months of stress finally coming to a head. I didn't want it to happen, but I accepted it. We finally negotiated things somewhat amicably and a timeline for her moving out. The week of Valentine's Day I felt a sharp pain on my left side that turned out to be a kidney stone. Hospitalization and recovery cost me a week off work and having used up my leave, I had to take the time off unpaid. A screw up with my post-treatment medication gave me a severe allergic reaction and infection that cost another week off work, again unpaid. This was the fatal blow to my already fragile financial situation which caused me to be so deep in the red that I was barely able to pay my rent and bills, let alone socialize or anything else. The entire month of March was spent trying to correct it, but it was one step forward, two steps back. Finally, unexpected car repairs out the final nail in the coffin. If my father hadn't bailed me out, I'd be royally fucked right now without lube. Add into this not being able to take care of my own physical and other health issues, a physically demanding and stressful job with it's own issues, and the backdrop of living in squalor with someone who can't be bothered to contribute to anything in any meaningful way but always seems to rest the blame on my shoulders, you can bet that I haven't been a happy camper. I took a break from my social media, and that included here.
So where am I now? In flux. My tax refund will help me close the budget shortfall but I'm still pretty much behind the 8 Ball. I gave my ex the maximum amount of time allowed by law to vacate, on the agreement that she help me get the apartment clean. So far that hasn't happened, but I'm holding out a bit of hope. She has her own health issues (fibro), but honestly I'm just really getting tired of the constant drain. Since the financial mess invariably caused a rent check to bounce, and not being able to manipulate the overdraft system anymore things have gotten even tighter. As of May my rent is going up, and if I don't find a solution soon I will lose my apartment. My stress levels naturally have gotten sky high and I've been getting tension headaches, chronic stress hives, and have withdrawn from most of my friends because I'm miserable to be around. The second anniversary of my Mother's death just passed and that makes this time of year more difficult.
So that in a nutshell is why I've been so quiet and not really in the crushing mood. I've come back to the site over the past few weeks and have been commenting/following here and there and there are a few people here who are great friends that have been very supportive. I'm immensely appreciative of that. Still something seems to be lacking. A few of my favorites have left the site for various reasons. The level of interaction that I often find is lacking and my cynical side sometimes wonders if the girls here really care about friendship and community or just engage so guys will renew every year and keep SG Inc in business.
This might come off as bitter, but I figured it was time to let everyone know where I've been and what's going on. Thanks all for listening.
XOXO
Pete