so. i missed my chance to cancel my account. things don't seem to be what they once were. things in my life minus hating my job are really good, so good that i have delusions that they are bad, and create a mess about nothing. i'm excited to move to cleveland, i'm excited to have a house, i'm excited to feel like i made it...
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shits fucking brilliant, life is hectic but i'm happy. issues that were dwelled upon are resolved for better, people that are selfish or lack conviction are out, reality is in. that which held me back now pushes me to be more, and i am ecstatic.
i lecture about change and later realize maybe i should listen to myself. so many times i've tried to warn of things that would end badly, and they have, and i've risked alot in saying so, trying to save people grief, but it never helps. if people i knew weren't so emotionally masochistic, i might stand a chance at keeping a smile on my face...
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things lately have been pretty good. reading, cleaning, making stuff, label is coming along, first release is being prepped, making more money, more responsibilities at work, and i think i get to call tommorow regarding a job that pays alot more. for now time to clean
last weekend i went to chicago for the intonation music festival. it was pretty good, and i fixed a friendship that was pretty messed up while there so things are good once again. i'm retarded for basing my happiness around other people, but, we all gotta have faults. got an ipod and i love it. record label should be legit august 3rd, so that'll be...
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handsmakeaheart:
I got Haunted by that Chuck guy you mentioned. It's really good and I'm only 10 pages in. You'll have to borrow it when I'm done.
Bye.
Bye.
assloads of credit, and ipod with all the fixings, some modest mouse and the bravery to get caught up on some friends favorites, and a dumbass and huge database project for a client, and some girl that keeps messaging me. thats my day. so now i'm going to end it.
reasonably unproductive three day weekend. thought about accomplishing alot of work on side jobs but actually just watched alot of movies and attempted some form of socialization. helped a girl that just randomly started talking to me on the internet paint part of her house saturday night. was supposed to help her last night but my brother and his gf had a sushi kit so...
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handsmakeaheart:
So, it's wednesday night and I just got back from the duck and I'm drunk as all hell. You need to keep on being social with people. Don't fall into the same shity ruts that I did. Paint that mural, make some friends. I have to get up in 4 hours. that blows. Hopefully I won't be drunk. PS I wasn't planning on going out, so save that bar money! PS My head hurts. PS Feet wreak. PS Haunted houses scare me. PS My cat has a fuppa.
attempts to fix problems fail like a 450lb tightrope walker. means to escape drama and conflict and quit bringing down the only person i give a shit about increase daily. waiting for love to blossom in a relationship knowing that its easily blossomed without effort elsewhere leave track marks of heart ache and sleepless nights. why can't feelings that were capable of amassing so quickly...
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Went and saw Detachment Kit play at Howard's in BG on Monday night and wow are they good. Even if your not into their style their show just gets you into them. Got 4 hours of sleep for Tuesday as a result of that, a pretty boring day at work, as I expect today will be as well. Last night was pretty fun, hanging out...
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