perlpunk

If there was ever a week to be depressed it has passed, I hope. Still haven't been sleeping much, but I'm almost enjoying it. Feels like I have more time. I wonder when I'll enjoy sleeping and be able to dream well again.

I've found myself actually being angry at Jen, but not for the right reasons, its quite twisted. No post-breakup sex, yet she has no problem with sleeping with her friend in CA when we were 'together' on Halloween, and I'm sure she slept with him over Christmas, yet she has all the restraint in the world when I try to kiss her. Like I said, twisted. With that I realize I need to withdraw from her for awhile, to hopefully be friends. Its really hard to know when she is being truthful, much of it is probably what she has done, although its no fun second guessing a friend.

Finally I'm supposed to close on the house next month, however, I find myself quite nervous. With my relationship taking a huge dive and the initial, and unexpected problems, with buying the house I think its expected. Other than that I'm enjoying the house but getting used to being a little more alone than normal.



...life is change, changing is life. we call it evolution