Just over a month Ill be 31, and Im still not sure age has a strict relevance though it tends to represent the seasons of my life which have gone by. As much as I feel focused Im honestly adrift, not sure where I stand or even what direction to go in. I recently found myself in a girls bed shortly after meeting her at a bar while playing pool with my roommate. As much as I appreciated the situation at the time, I find myself more distressed after the fact, merely because I actually liked the qualities and beauty in this person. Im never sure where to place the absence of female companionship in my life and Im generally frustrated it seems to be apparent sometimes though also adding to my sense of lost wondering.
In any case, opportunities are on the horizon and although its early to speculate which might be valid truly. Im nervous about my credit rating being a hindrance in all cases of job opportunities or just all out getting rejected. This is due to the face I decided to leave a steady well paying job in order to attempt a software start-up with a friend. As start-ups go, we havent yet found funding and Ive fallen seriously behind in most of my bills.
I think its completely odd how lost and seemingly alone Ive felt over the past few months even though I have some great friends, like brothers and sisters to me. Its only when Ive had a few drinks that I seem to let go and accept that although Im lost Im still generally happy, however this clashes with how much I beat myself up for drinking, sometimes 6 nights a week. Im doing my best to not abuse my body and stay healthy but the factors under which I allow myself to bend the rules occur all too often it seems. The first being my personal gauge on how depressed I feel and the attempt to curb it. Second being my roommate and us some what being in a similar situation and just trying to be a good friend. I often wonder if were just a crutch for one another.
Take things as they are.
Song of the Month
Frightened Rabbit Living in Colour
[YOUTUBE]http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=12418200&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1[/YOUTUBE]
Show of the Summer
Monotonix @ Rhino (Denver)
Band of the Month
Builders and Butchers
In any case, opportunities are on the horizon and although its early to speculate which might be valid truly. Im nervous about my credit rating being a hindrance in all cases of job opportunities or just all out getting rejected. This is due to the face I decided to leave a steady well paying job in order to attempt a software start-up with a friend. As start-ups go, we havent yet found funding and Ive fallen seriously behind in most of my bills.
I think its completely odd how lost and seemingly alone Ive felt over the past few months even though I have some great friends, like brothers and sisters to me. Its only when Ive had a few drinks that I seem to let go and accept that although Im lost Im still generally happy, however this clashes with how much I beat myself up for drinking, sometimes 6 nights a week. Im doing my best to not abuse my body and stay healthy but the factors under which I allow myself to bend the rules occur all too often it seems. The first being my personal gauge on how depressed I feel and the attempt to curb it. Second being my roommate and us some what being in a similar situation and just trying to be a good friend. I often wonder if were just a crutch for one another.
Take things as they are.
Song of the Month
Frightened Rabbit Living in Colour
[YOUTUBE]http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=12418200&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1[/YOUTUBE]
Show of the Summer
Monotonix @ Rhino (Denver)
Band of the Month
Builders and Butchers