perhapsevil

Dearest Mrs. Wallice,
Hi there you little pumpkin pie hair cutted freak. Right now i'm in the Evil Book Cave of Death, I feel overwhelmed with hard rectangles and silly nonsence written on what people call paper, yah real hell hole. I just wanted to let you know how much I love you and so what if I'm 35 years older than you. Nobody will notice that I'm a dwarf cause I will wear platforms. Big green and pink ones. Just to make you happy I will lather myself in milk every night so you can lick it off me and slerp it out of my beep. HA AHHH HAA! BEEP SLERPY BEEP. sick.
Never mind, we will be together some day, if it's not today maybe in our after life as swans because you are my swan & my love bird.
sincerely yours forever,
Herman Frankerdoodle

ps:your secret is safe with me

I kept all the notes Ann, Carrie and Betsie wrote me in highschool, this is my favorite but I don't know which crazy wrote it. We'd sign with different alias' mine was either Mrs Wallice or Mrs. Robinson. Funny, I earned the Mrs. Robinson title, but that came later...