pepperjanuary

I'm worried. I'm beinging released from my current position in order to start my New bartending position on the 30th. But i haven't gotten my new schedule, uniform or badge yet. And I haven't really heard anything from my supervisors so I dunno whats going on. I guess i'll try to find out when I go to work tomorrow.

Other than that works okay except for the occasional annoyance of dealing with the dramatic people connected to the Loris fiasco. And the fact that I hate my position.


I have some horrible cramps right now.

I'm waist deep in old school pumpkins and its making me feel everything. They used to have that gift. I dunno WTF they're doing now, but it's lost the magic. If you don't know what magic i'm talking about reference any song pre-"Gish". "Gish", "Siamese Dream" and then there are a select few from "Mellon Collie", "Adore", "Machina" and "Machina 2." I'm sorry "Zeigtgeist" fans. Its not for me. Although Ibought two copies and forced myself to listen to/like it, I know deep down it isn't what it should be. Siamese Dream is a fucking masterpiece. I know everyone loves Mellon Collie to bits but I feel like there were too many filler songs. I guess that's to be expected with a double album and Corgan had/has that "i shit gold" complex where he thinks everything he makes is pure genius so... But I really like SD and Gish. And there are a lot of B-sides that should have been released as singles. ...why am I talking about this? I dunno...Just listen to the older stuff and think about it.

Kind of reminds me of the Korn scenario. They're going downhill as well. Atleast JD is still humble about it. He never had that rockstar "I am God" jerkface mentality that BC does. I think that's why I like him more. and their old school shit rips up the horribly redundant new shit they keep crapping out.

I remember when music was good. this shit is scary. nobody gives a fuck about anything but a catchy hook and short skirts or flasy chains n rings/cars whatever. who takes time to write good lyrics and melodies. nobody gives a fuck anymore. anybody can be a star. with technology and a boob job. ugh.

and i figured out that i like her just because i know its safe to. i know she wont hurt me, and if she did i'd recover. because i already have once. and i was way more invested then. so it wouldn't hurt nearly as much now. but on top of that i like her for all the same reasons i did before. and its kinda in the best place now. cuz i think we both feel the same in regards to where we're at. neither wants more or less. neither would have a hard time letting go and moving over. atleast...i wouldn't.

i love my moon. and somewhere deep down my moon loves me.

i kinda miss my mom and my gran and my sis and my neices. yet i never call them. i really should. i really really should. I need to. very soon.

it's hot as hell today. i'm going to get a bigstick!

um...this blog is totally random.