Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

pensquare

Member Since 2003

Followers 24 Following 19

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Sunday Aug 17, 2003

Aug 17, 2003
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
The pet store customer FAQ

Q: Which bird food is the best?
A: If one was better than all the others, there wouldn't be any reason to carry more than one brand. They are all exactly the same.

Q: Are you the fish guy?
A: No. I am the fish man.

Q: Is there something else in the back?
A: It would be a financial blunder to keep any stock in the back, where you couldn't get your grimy hands on it. Everything we have is in front of your face.

Q: Will my goldfish like this rock?
A: It is a topic of hot debate amongst the illogical and uneducated whether fish have the mental capacity to "like" anything at all. Similar to most customers, goldfish don't appear to operate on anything more complex than stimulus-response.

Q: Is your manager in? Can I talk to him?
A: No, because you are under the mistaken impression that speaking directly to a manager will get you faster, more professional service. This isn't a Gucci outlet.

Q: Where is the bathroom?
A: Under the giant, internationally recognized bathroom sign you passed when you walked in the front door.

Q: Can I ask you a question about hamsters?
A: I suppose it's physically possible, yes. I'm sure you won't like the answer, though.

Q: Did you know there's a dead fish in this tank?
A: Absolutely. If I stopped to pick out dead fish every time a helpful customer notices one, nothing would never get done around here. Five dead fish pulls a day will have to suffice.

Q: Doesn't it bother you that this mouse is all cooped up in this cage?
A: Not as much as it bothers me that I'm trapped in this dead-end, minimum wage job with no chance for advancement, and the fact that all I have to look forward to after I punch out is my skanky one room apartment.

More Blogs

  • 12.03.04
    12

    Friday Dec 03, 2004

    Read More
  • 12.03.04
    4

    Friday Dec 03, 2004

    Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. What the fuck happened to Bettie?
  • 12.01.04
    1

    Wednesday Dec 01, 2004

    Read More
  • 11.29.04
    9

    Monday Nov 29, 2004

    Read More
  • 11.23.04
    1

    Tuesday Nov 23, 2004

    I've decided that I dislike shaving my face very much, and I'm not go…
  • 11.02.04
    7

    Tuesday Nov 02, 2004

    Hi, my name's UltraSexyGuy69696969. To say I'm single would be an und…
  • 10.07.04
    2

    Thursday Oct 07, 2004

    Turns out I have no idea what I would change my profile picture to. …
  • 09.05.04
    1

    Sunday Sep 05, 2004

    I'm thinking it's time to start looking for a new profile pic. Shoe p…
  • 09.01.04
    2

    Wednesday Sep 01, 2004

    It's story time, kiddies. Go ahead and find a place to sit, there you…
  • 08.26.04
    3

    Thursday Aug 26, 2004

    There will be no Bacon Pants entries written, mostly because the camp…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
20
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,599 SuicideGirls
  • 1,114,613 followers
  • 14,946,853 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,458,366 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo