pennyzee

Have you ever just wanted to jump out of your body, maybe into someone elses, maybe randomly? Maybe live a little of their life your way, let them try yours out? Fix a problem you see or just see what it feels like to be them or even interact with yourself to see what you're really like? Would you like yourself? The way you look. The way you act. The way you feel. The way you smell and taste.

Maybe forget yourself and move on to an entirely new person. Or be someone who is more like you than you are, someone you want to be, even if they aren't entirely that. Add yourself to them. Add that person to you. Feel life with the freedom of a past you don't equate to yourself.

Is it dishonest to feel like that? Is it a sign you're afraid to be your true self? Maybe it's not entirely possible to be yourself as yourself. Maybe that top shelf is easier to reach from that taller body. Are you really in the best body at all for the job of being you? I want, sometimes, to be smaller, sometimes to be bigger, prettier, older, plainer, younger, sometimes a boy, sometimes a girl, lighter, darker, more myself, less myself.

How shallow is this desire? How profound is the need to escape... maybe not. Maybe it's a vacation. A needed respite from the ultimate boredom. The one thing that is forever in this forever while we live. Hair, nails, skin, clothes... but never the inner body, never the mind, never the history. We can never change, in the end, who we are. Right? To thine own self be true? What does that mean if you aren't thine own self? Is it wrong because it's impossilble? Does that make it escapism? If it were possible, and we all partake, would it still be wrong? Maybe so... Maybe no.