pennycandy

So. I got drunk last night. Usually not a bad thing.

Went to some friends' house, and we had a ball. So much fun; played some drinking games, met a new friend, got to see Katie (who I haven't seen in ages), and hung out with Mike. It was nice. It was nice seeing folks, and really nice being chumy with Mike. He obviously hadn't told Katie we weren't together because she said something about me being Mike's girl. I shook my head and told her, "No. He dumped me." She got so upset. She stood up and screamed "Michael!!!! I liked Penny!!!" He was on the other side of the room, and she stormed over to him, they exchanged words, I don't know what was said......I'm sure the same things he told me.

Everything really was great, I was happy just hanging out with him, just being friendly. If he can't be mine, I don't want to lose our friendship, so I really was very happy.

Then shit just went sour. I don't even know what happened, it just did. Just shit, just fucked up bullshit. I'm so angry with him, and so hurt. I've been tring to get ahold of him all day, and I finally got a text from him a few hours ago......UGH! I don't want to lose him, but I can't be around him if he's not going to let me be his friend I mean, that's what he told me he wantted!!!!! I'm SO angry, I'm so mad that he would do things to put me in the position of......to make me not want to hang out with him

I don't know if he is just fucking using me, or what he is doing. He kept talking about doing what is best for both of us, and how we would be cheating ourselves if we stay together, how it isn't fair for us to be toghether because it won't work. Then he.......just fucking put me in the most UNFAIR fucking spot in the world.

What the fuck am I supposed to do? Just lose him?

I guess I should hear what he has to say before I decide what I need to do. I don't want to lose him. I don't want that, ever. I love him too much.