pennycandy

I feel like such an insecure jerk.

My poor guy. We were getting all hot and heavy last night when his cell phone rang. It was sounding my ringtone. That song, "I don't want anybody else, when I think about you, I touch myself." I, obviously, wasn't calling him, and it was about 1AM. I stopped cold, got off him and went to sit on his bed (we were on the couch in his room). I was so fucking pissed.

Here's a bit of a quick backstory. He left me for another girl, but told me that he was done with her. I heard, from a friend (who is a trouble maker, so I didn't put too much stock in it), that "Tattoos" dropped him off at the game on Thursday. The girl he left me for has a ton, and I guess his brother calls her Tattoos. I wasn't invited to that game, even though I'm invited to ever other game. I hadn't said anything, because my friend likes to start shit, and I didn't think I was all that bothered by it. I thought, I trust him, he wouldn't be fucking around on me.

When I heard my ringtone and I wasn't calling him, I flipped out. He was a little stunned, when I just left him naked on the couch, full erection and all...... So, he said, "Babe what's wrong?" I didn't answer. He came and sat beside me, and tried to put his arm around me. I shook him off, and moved away. He said "I don't know what's wrong if you won't talk to me." We both heard his phone ring, and I was thinking, how the fuck can be asking that? I still didn't talk to him and he kept tring to touch me and get close to me. I finally said, "Well, that wasn't my phone." He picked up my phone and told me he had sent some pictures from my phone to his (I took some pics of myself when he was in the shower and told him to look as I went to wash my face and whatnot). I believed him right away, but I realized that I wasn't as okay with whoever dropped him off at his game, and I was still not letting him touch me and all that. He showed me on my phone that he had sent some pictures. I knew he had, he won't lie to me. He may not come out with the whole truth if I don't ask a specific question, but he will not lie to me.

He knew something else was wrong, so he asked "What babe? Something is still wrong, tell me." I asked him who dropped him off at the game and he told me....her name, you know, I'm not saying here because I know she is on this site as well and I think this is her real name. He asked if anything else was wrong, and I asked him "Why me, why not her?" He told me, and that I have nothing at all to worry about. I felt like such a jerk.

Then he asked me why I wantted to be with him and not any other guy. It didn't really make much sense to me that he would be asking me that. I asked him that question because I knew he left me for her, and now he's with me again. So, you know, I want to know why not her? I always wantted to be with him, and he knew that. He probably knew that before I did. He gets me far better than anyone else in the entire world. That makes me really happy, but it scares me at the same time.

Sometimes I think I trust him too much, but right now I'm thinking I need to trust him more. My poor fella.

He made fun of me this morning, and told me he is going to flip out the next time my phone rings, even if it is him calling. LOL