its 2 am i dont feel like sleeping much less of doing something else then writing a small blog i need to try to get a girlfriend more then to try to watch television or listen to music but here i am trying to understand why so many people always get to the point of telling how they feel and search for something that isnt there sometimes i conect whit other people like when im outside the house but then i just want to come back home and sleep in my bed forget all the stupid people that most of the time are getting in places like fency restaurants or long shows or even a drive around the city i need sometimes to just be different and try to get myself in funny positions its that or just remember from where i am from and giggle about it im tired of folks always trying to understand why i am from a different country or have gone to other places and then talk about it i know its some sort of security you have in a chat room or even at school nevermind that i just want to get to the point of telling myself i know some things that no one else knows like be in a class and laught about a girl who sneezed and whiped herself on her dress thats when folks get around her and start all sorts of big startegys on how to become her friend but no its less dramatic then this when im on ride to work i just watch who gets in the bus and react to every face that hasent come on who is or white or black or chinese nerds ??? i totaly forget all sorts of things like from where i am from then i smile and get lost in the crowd as i enter the subway living on the edge every moment of my life got so screwd up i try not to get crazy as i write this post i actualy am sometimes in places where everyone gets a good look at my hair or my shoes its that or try to look at me straight in the eyes and shake the hell out of my neck i wanna get lost sometimes in my backyard and just sit on a chair and realize all the flirting i have done is sometimes better then to leave a place and tell yourself you just cant recall on how to smacked the hell out of someone