(Please forgive spelling and grammer errors)
We cannot change the core of who we are. Perhaps that is why its so hard
to let go at times.
You have stated so many times you're saying goodbye. Yet you call. And I
cannot do this cat and mouse anymore. My not returning your beckon is my
non verbal respect to your last goodbye. Perhaps its my act to repent
for all the damage I have caused you. For you suffer for your love, as
do I.
And now what? Right? Well I don't know... I don't have the answers,
although I wish I did. I never thought I would ever love anyone like
you. You're good and emotional to the core. Every action and reaction
open and new. Don't you know? Haven't you heard.... I am a monster, and
a victim. I am as lost and fucked up as everyone else. But I also love.
I may not be kind, but I'm honest. I may not be open, but I'm faithful.
These are parts of my core.
Our lightning has become your bullet and the light over my grave. Our
escape from isolation was our own prison sentance. And when it all comes
back to the raw truth, the chance to leave this place - to live - will
you look back before you make it out of Hadies? Tell me, do you really
have enough strength and faith to live on without looking back until the
dark part is over?
I write and wish for manythings. And for as much as I dream of your soft
hands and eyes without defining circles - I long for your independant
happiness. The freedom of your soul. I ask for your release like
rituial.
It makes me so sick in my heart to think of my destruction and damage I
have done to you. I would give my abilty to make words away if it meant
you would have peace. However, the only way to peace is to face yourself
alone. To overcome self hatred, and know yourself for you and your core.
I don't bring about these actions in you. In fact I bring out your inner
minotaur. I have become crazy Pelafina and you my Johnny.
In this realization I have decided my pen is my only voice in prayer to
you. Its my bare, and raw, and untouched line to my heart and its
contents.
Take that ruby heart and LIVE.
Live and live and love (always)
N
We cannot change the core of who we are. Perhaps that is why its so hard
to let go at times.
You have stated so many times you're saying goodbye. Yet you call. And I
cannot do this cat and mouse anymore. My not returning your beckon is my
non verbal respect to your last goodbye. Perhaps its my act to repent
for all the damage I have caused you. For you suffer for your love, as
do I.
And now what? Right? Well I don't know... I don't have the answers,
although I wish I did. I never thought I would ever love anyone like
you. You're good and emotional to the core. Every action and reaction
open and new. Don't you know? Haven't you heard.... I am a monster, and
a victim. I am as lost and fucked up as everyone else. But I also love.
I may not be kind, but I'm honest. I may not be open, but I'm faithful.
These are parts of my core.
Our lightning has become your bullet and the light over my grave. Our
escape from isolation was our own prison sentance. And when it all comes
back to the raw truth, the chance to leave this place - to live - will
you look back before you make it out of Hadies? Tell me, do you really
have enough strength and faith to live on without looking back until the
dark part is over?
I write and wish for manythings. And for as much as I dream of your soft
hands and eyes without defining circles - I long for your independant
happiness. The freedom of your soul. I ask for your release like
rituial.
It makes me so sick in my heart to think of my destruction and damage I
have done to you. I would give my abilty to make words away if it meant
you would have peace. However, the only way to peace is to face yourself
alone. To overcome self hatred, and know yourself for you and your core.
I don't bring about these actions in you. In fact I bring out your inner
minotaur. I have become crazy Pelafina and you my Johnny.
In this realization I have decided my pen is my only voice in prayer to
you. Its my bare, and raw, and untouched line to my heart and its
contents.
Take that ruby heart and LIVE.
Live and live and love (always)
N