pelafina

So I met this wonderful boy who I fell incredibly in love with when I
was in tacoma/seattle. We met on myspace in december and we talked and
talked... To the point where I couldn't stop thinking about him. He fit
me. Well things fell through in my life here in burque, my daughters
father and I called it quits and so I went up to visit this man in
washington along with seeing a long time friend in seattle, and
ladytron. This man paid for one third of my ticket, and bought my
ladytron ticket as well. I went up and things were wonderful. Then he
became insecure about the friend I was staying with in seattle/ thought
I wasn't having fun with him in tacoma. Well... That was the begining of
the drama.
From then on we have done a lot of fighting. We are both at fault for
this. He is mostly upset that I won't be with him. Although he dosent
trust me for shit. In fact he freaks out about my online profiles/
comments. I don't know how long ago I filled out my dating profile
here... And he just freaked out and sent it to me last night. When a
member here and I decided we would go to coffee (and we still
haven't...) He called me at work and chewed me out like I was whoring
myself on the meat block. He thinks everyone will fall in love with
me...or I don't know. My words are not good enought for him.
This may make him sound like a jerk, and I promise he's far from it...
But I don't know how to deal with this.
I fight with him all the time for him. What he wants is for me to be
with him. And this is something I cannot do, because of where I am in my
head right now.
He says its tearing him up. He says its... Well he is in a bad mindspace
because of me.
I feel awful. I tell him ill leave him be.
He freaks out.
Sends me bitter hate mail.
Breaks my heart.

I think I may check out of here for a while, because apparently my words
are hurting him.
And the situation is killing me.

What the fuck?
No really.