I...AM...FUCKING...BULLETPROOF
OK, lemme explain.
I think I created some sort of crime against nature, or perhaps angered the forest gods, for wood and paper products are after my very soul.
OK, maybe that needs even more explaining.
I work at a bookstore. No big deal. Anyhoo, I'm working in the backroom (where I have come to realize my place as the store's creepy guy who just works out back, which is fine with me, on account of all my co-workers being assheads), and I'm shelving books, when WAM! (not WHAM featuring George Michaels, mind you) a book comes crashing down and hits me right in the motherfucking eye! It was a DR Atkins Carbohydrate Guide if you were curious. Damn, I think to myself, that sucked.
About three hours later, while lifting a box of books, the box rips open and WAM! (Not WHAM either), a copy of "Getting It On: A Couple's Sex Guide" cracks me on top of the motherfucking head! "Sum'bitch!!" I exclaimed. "I think books are after me!"
OK, now here's where the law of nature conspiracy steps in: I'm on my break, in front of the mall having a cigarette. Today was a very windy day here in lovely Boston, and as an especially strong breeze hits me, CRA-A-A-CK! WAM!! (Not WH--eh, you get it by now), a tree falls on me and hits me on the motherfucking head! "Weeping Christ on a crutch!" I scream. The wind knocked over one of the many beautiful, tall, heavy trees that line the entrance to the mall. A FUCKING TREE! Not the trunk itself, but one of the branches cracked me upside the head.
In twenty-four hours, I was struck down by two paper products and a tree. Is this some sort of woodland assassination attempt? Better yet, I see it as a message:
I...AM...FUCKING...INVINCIBLE!!!
I mean, I have defied nature. I fought the law and the law won. But it didn't. I won. Soooo, OK, so, I fought the law and I won. No, that doesn't have the same ring. Regardless, mother nature can take it in the ass! Giddyup!
OK, lemme explain.
I think I created some sort of crime against nature, or perhaps angered the forest gods, for wood and paper products are after my very soul.
OK, maybe that needs even more explaining.
I work at a bookstore. No big deal. Anyhoo, I'm working in the backroom (where I have come to realize my place as the store's creepy guy who just works out back, which is fine with me, on account of all my co-workers being assheads), and I'm shelving books, when WAM! (not WHAM featuring George Michaels, mind you) a book comes crashing down and hits me right in the motherfucking eye! It was a DR Atkins Carbohydrate Guide if you were curious. Damn, I think to myself, that sucked.
About three hours later, while lifting a box of books, the box rips open and WAM! (Not WHAM either), a copy of "Getting It On: A Couple's Sex Guide" cracks me on top of the motherfucking head! "Sum'bitch!!" I exclaimed. "I think books are after me!"
OK, now here's where the law of nature conspiracy steps in: I'm on my break, in front of the mall having a cigarette. Today was a very windy day here in lovely Boston, and as an especially strong breeze hits me, CRA-A-A-CK! WAM!! (Not WH--eh, you get it by now), a tree falls on me and hits me on the motherfucking head! "Weeping Christ on a crutch!" I scream. The wind knocked over one of the many beautiful, tall, heavy trees that line the entrance to the mall. A FUCKING TREE! Not the trunk itself, but one of the branches cracked me upside the head.
In twenty-four hours, I was struck down by two paper products and a tree. Is this some sort of woodland assassination attempt? Better yet, I see it as a message:
I...AM...FUCKING...INVINCIBLE!!!
I mean, I have defied nature. I fought the law and the law won. But it didn't. I won. Soooo, OK, so, I fought the law and I won. No, that doesn't have the same ring. Regardless, mother nature can take it in the ass! Giddyup!
siako23:
i would try to avoid feuding with nature, a hard head wont save you from a bolt of lightening... : )