peeled

Given the opportunity, I think I would do nothing else but eat Doritos all day long. Theyre like crack cocaine, and probably about as bad for you.

Luckily, in order to protect the worlds Doritos supply from my insatiable appetite, I give myself an injection every night before I go to bed that affects the part of my brain that controls Doritos related information. I wake up every morning thinking that Doritos is what Tonto called the Lone Ranger in tender moments.

And so life goes on peacefully, until my roommate brings home an unfamiliar orange and black bag filled with awesome.

And then I eat the whole bag.

All that red dye is going to give me cancer, Im sure of it.

I went to see General Rudie at Le Swimming on Thursday. I got to see real-live ska kids: feathered hats, skinny ties, checkered shoes and all! I havent seen ska-kids since 96. I didnt know they were still around. How can you be grumpy when theres ska and a dance floor full of kids skanking their hearts out?

Answer: You cant

Today is the best drag of your cigarette, the third one.