peccavigianna

My husband is in the states... Of course he wont be seeing me... I think if he had realized it he would have seen that i was his "soul mate". I say that cause our separation feels so different from the usual break up. Today i miss him so much. I miss the good times and his warm body in my bed. I miss the way he protected me from assholes. Haha prolly cause he was an ass. You know i want to convince him to keep our marriage but... I feel like his shitty attitude will just keep his walls up. I feel sad being on my own, i hate that i come home to something that depresses me more. A broken home that we will never share again. And a son who misses "daddy". I resorted to praying last night and begged to have my husband back. I hate doubting my religion but sometimes i feel like he isnt there or isnt real. How could he let this happen to me and my innocent baby? I hate that i have those thoughts... Ive been in a very secret depression when it comes to him and some days it actually shines through. Everyone will tell you, oh you deserve better but really not one word that anyone can say can make anything better.