pebbles

This is going to be a short entry because I figured I needed to say something. I am sorry I haven't been around much, just have a lot on my plate with work. Yes I have been trying to have a bit of fun but that really doesn't always happen.

Work I have noticed is my pleasure and my pain. I am so happy to go there and take care of the kids but then again I hate going there to see them so close to having no chance of getting better. I took care of my little buddy last night. My heart broke just a bit more, he is not the same little boy. I just know inside me that he knows and I want to take the pain away. I wish he would cry or get mad. When he just lays there and doesn't talk and he just looks into your eyes and you see nothing in his. The life is gone.

It has become a ritual for me to cry when I get home. I don't know if I can handle this for a few more months. Oh well part of the job and I will not stop caring about him or the others. And I will always fight for them.

Love to all and have a fabulous weekend

(sorry about the sad entry) just my mellow mood right now

UPDATE

yeah well last night wasn't any better. now i am headed off to spend some time with family because pebbles doesn't want to be alone. oh yeah and welcome back the nightmares....damnit i finally was able to sleep a bit.

so many emotions right now, but i will save you all from reading them. maybe just because when i say them, i feel like i am asking for love or sympathy...anyway have a great weekend everyone...mine is finally getting started.