peart

It eats me up inside sometimes. I've never been kissed, never held hands, never conversed on the phone, never held, cuddled, or even had a relationship with a woman beyond aquentence, now I've been out of college for 2 years and the pool of available women is almost nonexistent. The remaining whatever available women is not available to me anyways. It's just something that bothers me a lot.

What makes it worse is I cannot relate. I cannot relate to the people who write journal entries on that special guy or special girl that comes and visits them. I cannot relate to a single human who has had a girlfriend. I cannot relate to what it's like to go on a first date. I can't even relate to even being told I'm liked. I know I'm told that in text and chat sometimes but I've never physically heard it in my ears from a woman.

This coincides with moving. I know moving won't help, I'll move to some city were I don't know anyone I'll move to a part of town that isn't a college area or has a high influx of women so I won't get to meet any. I don't have the balls to be social with women and I don't posses the looks, or the money to attract women. I almost see no benefit to moving out of my parents home. My future either was doesn't look positive.