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peart

Lafayette, IN

Member Since 2003

Followers 40 Following 39

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Wednesday Dec 24, 2003

Dec 24, 2003
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Indiana part 3 the people of Indiana

Growing up in Indiana you'll hear a lot about the folks of Indiana. We are called Hoosiers (don't ask), we have what's known as Hoosier hospitality. We make lots of jokes about those rednecks from Kentucky, those lousey drivers from the north, Ohio doesn't even exist, and Illinios is that place you can go into a bar when you're seventeen.

Of course I've come to learn this is completely untrue and people from Indiana are by and large assholes and more redneck than the people from the deep south. What better way to illustrate this with things i've seen just living in small indiana towns.

1. People fly confederate flags even though Indiana was never part of the souyh.
2. People turn their astro van into a monster truck by jacking up the wheels and painting the van in cammo
3. half the town owns a commo painted trucks, or a jacked up truck.
4. People really are named billy joe, jim bob, sally mae, betsy sue
5. People do reproduce with their cousins, and sisters here (and in indiana there is no law against marrying your first cousin)
6. Blinking lights on phone polls so people don't run into them.
7. People who crash there cesna into cell phone towers while flying drunk and pouring beer onto the population
8. Bars that will let 14 year olds in to drink
9. The southern accent exists as far north in Indiana as the michigan border
10. Gas stations that have slot machines
11. Bars open 24 hours to accomidate the drinking factory workers
12. Everywhere else that is closed by 9pm at night because everyone ditches town to go to a better place to shop
13. Cigarettes in candy bar machines
14. I once seen children as young as 5 years old smoke and had help from their parents in lighting their cigarettes
15. I once saw a woman who had her hands full with bags in one hand and a cig in the other put the bags down to put the cig in the mouth to reach over and smack her unruley kid.
16. I've seen people repeatidly run over a road baracade at 4 in the morning because they were too lazy to drive around it when there was plenty of room.
17 A cop in one town I lived in tried to break up a hostage situation by tossing in a flash grenade into a home, he actually threw the pin and forgot he was holding the grenade it blew up in his hand fell to the ground and burned the hosue down.
18. Fireman routinely get lost on the way to a fire in one town I lived in the size of 10k people. Then they just go home.
19 Instead of fixing the roof to the HS my HS jsut waited till a tornado blew it off so they had an excuse to fix it and give 2 weeks off school.
20. Kids here actually drive tractors to school
21. Chewing tobacco was a bigger problem in HS than pot, sex or cigs
22. Sex was a problem at one school enough so to make a rule 'no sex in school'
23. One adminstrator of HS didn't allow the band team to compete because it wasn't educational
24. You can buy nitrious and balloons and crackers at any gas station
25. Yes people are missing most of their teeth
26. One HS did away with open lunch because too many kids in one year got hit by cars.
27. You can live in a town with no dine in chain restaurants but still have 3 chinese take out places.
28. Instead of growing pot or other drugs hillbillies take to home chemistry and make their own meth and inevitably burning their trailer home down in the process
29.The gran dragon of the KKK was killed in a drive by shooting. His trailer home was shot up from the highway
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
lunna:
Happy Holidays Sweetie! kiss
Dec 25, 2003
peart:
57. When living in a town with the name of Butts, please try not to have your kid at the same time as the Buttsines. Otherwise watch the hilarity of the hospital getting the two babies confused.
58. Starting your own business? Everytown needs an army surplus store.
59. Don't like that someone owes you money? Make a huge bilboard about it and show the whole town
Dec 25, 2003

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