peachs

*When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
*Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
*There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
*Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
*Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
*Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
*Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
*Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
*There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
*When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
*Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
*Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
*There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
*Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
*Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
*Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
*Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
*Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
*Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
*Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
*Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands and left them just "The Islands"