pb

EDIT: am thursday. how can i sleep for 8 hours and wake to feeling like i've been running running running all night long? run run run, little mouse, you'll never catch that cheese. my jaw aches. i'm grinding my teeth to dust in my dreams and reality. so much and yet nothing going on at once. when did life become so desparately dehydrated and devoid of dramatic delusion? in the last few days apparently. must be the fall after the soaring high. the great splat. the big comedown. the shakes. the inevitable realization of solitude amidst the blurred press of stinking humanity.

i want to choke down about 50mg of melatonin and sleep for a week. i'll put the Cure on repeat and wear my headphones the whole time so dreams of flowers and quiet meloncholy and bleak days will abound.

dream dream dream. wish wish wish. spin into killing dull verity.


-pb





from the pb archives; sent via email for cyber seduction a few years back. edited and updated.



(s)


i want you to sit and revel in the delicious soreness of your inner thighs
bruised wrists
and small bite marks on the back
-----of your neck
-----you smile
to yourself
with sinful satisfaction
and sweet exhaustion
....as you remember...
-----my hard wet body
covering yours
pinning you to the floor
-----while you bite into your lip in

----------pain (pleasure)----------

so no one can hear you

----------(s)cream----------

breathe...
-----grip...
----------squeeze...

(sin)blood(pain)
close your eyes and
-----live(love)
descend into hapless formless bliss and comfort(pain)
-----take it into yourself and.........







-pb