pb

EDIT:

is it bad to blow your nose and get a handful of blood for your trouble?

i feel like i have Captain Trips...those of you familiar with King's "The Stand" can dig it. -

pb




i happen to enjoy having dinner or lunch alone whilst reading a book in public. people make a point to ignore me as my solitude in the face of their frantic clinging to their whateverz really threatens their sense of the normal. if i happen to see friends (or they me) during such a time, they're offended when i politely decline their repeated and puzzled entreaties for me to join them or vice versa for the meal. most people just can't understand that i'd prefer to sit in silence and solitude and read something profound and relaxing rather than pretend to listen to their inane banter which is in no way more interesting than watching fucking soap operas.

also, if a man is alone in public; say, walking down the street, sitting on a park bench, or having a bite and a read---he's automatically seen as a threat to every girl in the immediate area. i can feel the wariness and mistrust flowing off of them as i walk by. its like just because i'm male, alone, bookish, silent and a bit intense looking i'm automatically a rapist or nutcase or some such nonsense.

what a culture of paranoia and distrust this is.

-pb


book: the star fraction
music: the cure, from the edge of the deep green sea