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pavlovsdog

The Paris of the South

Member Since 2004

Followers 122 Following 134

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Tuesday Jul 05, 2005

Jul 5, 2005
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It seems that all my prospective relationships end up as friendships. I'm tired of it. I know I should be grateful to have them as friends, but sometimes I want something deeper. Is that wrong? I feel like a pair of sweatpants; nice to have around, but never something you'd wear everyday.

It must be some kind of vibe I give out. I'm a relatively shy person, and don't usually take things too quickly. It might be a fourth of fifth date before I even try to kiss the other person. I'm afraid that my shyness comes out as aloofness or disinterest. Of course they might get bored with me and can't imagine spending large amounts of time with me.

There has been this girl I've been talking on and off with for a while now. After a couple of months I realized it wasn't going anywhere, but we kept hanging out. Sometimes it would be a total friend vibe and other times she would hint at a possibility of something more. Nothing ever came of this. Last week I got an email from her apologizing for not being in contact recently. Her reason, she'd met someone and has been seeing him for about a month. Now she's been going through some tough times, and as a "friend" I should be happy for her, however I can't help but feel a little hurt and deluded. The kicker is: she wants to get together and talk about how they met and all the "juicy details", as she put it, like I'm her best friend of something. I don't know if I can do it. I like the girl and would hate to lose what we do have, but talking about a person who she obviously finds more appealing than me doesn't sound to me like a particularly pleasant conversation topic. It's like being a hair stylist, and talking to her about that great haircut she got somewhere else, when I know I could have done it just as good. I should be happy for her, but I can't help feeling cheated.

Eh, fuck it, I think I might go see Sin City at the Pizza Company tomorow.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
asrai:
Yeah, good idea. war on love.

you know, a stranger told me that I looked like Mona Lisa once. I wasn't sure if it was a compliment at the time.

smile
Jul 8, 2005
vuokko:
Honestly, unless I (god forbid) get a job or something, I'll probably go to the cheapest one. I'm spending a fair bit of time in all 3 places these days, so any one of them is good by me.

That's lame. I'm sorry that happened. Maybe if you are more aggressive?? If not physically, then maybe by talking with people about how you feel?? Unfortunately, a lot of women are really hesitant to make the first move and take shyness as disinterest. Sad, but true.
Jul 8, 2005

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