pavlovsdog

I'm slowly beginning to feel better, though it still hurts. I get little epiphanies every once in a while and they say I'll be alright. I'm sleeping better, but I still havent got a decent nights sleep in like three weeks. Mornings are still bad, I don't know why. I guess it's the thought of facing another long day full of thinking about her, about our time together, and what turned it all upside down. I broke down a bit Saturday morning before work. The feelings of rejection, loneliness, and confusion were too much. I still can't figure out why she stopped calling. It was so sudden, like someone hit the off switch on her feelings. One day she liked me the next she hated me. I don't know why. If she wasn't interested, she could have told me her reasons, but to just stop calling, that's inconsiderate and hurtful. Keeping busy helps though. I ran lights for The Rocky Horror Show Friday and Saturday. Sunday I went to a play, then an Art Opening, and then watched the Academy Awards (which were kind of boring and predictable), and tonight I ran the spotlight for a concert at UNCA. But even these distractions didn't keep my mind off of her fully. Going to work is tough also because that's where I first met her, so I spend most of the day thinking about that and wishing she would come in and apologize. It doesn't happen. It's probably for the best if I don't see her though. I don't know why it's so hard getting over her, but it is. I guess it's because I really liked her and thought things were going real well, but it just ended suddenly with no type of closure. I know all this will pass eventually, but it's so difficult right now I just have to vent. If you managed to read all this, thanks.