pavlovsdog

Oh man. There is too much stuff going on, and then again not enough. Where to start?

While the Halloween party over the weekend was quite an event, Halloween itself was rather uneventful. That morning we had a performance out in Hendersonville. After the performance we had to unpack the trailer we haul our props and set around in and load it into a cargo van for the drive out of town. In the afternoon we drive up to West Jefferson which is about 30 north of Boone, in Ashe county, or as one might say the middle of nowhere, BFE. By the way, never drive in Boone around 5:00 unless you enjoy idling for long periods of time.

We arrive in West Jefferson around 6:00. Well three of us arrive, Julia, one of my fellow actors, decides she would rather stay in Asheville and party with her boyfriend, it is Halloween after all. It isn't like the rest of us would rather party than spend our Halloween in a second rate Hampton Inn in West Jefferson NC where, I might add, everything closes at 6 pm, watching Jeepers Creepers on TV and eating lukewarm pizza. Noooo. Suffering for your art is necessary I guess. I'm over it though I swear! The desk clerks, who probably thought we were on speed because of how punch-drunk we were from traveling, did give us some candy though. We even handed a few out to some kids who came to, of all places, the Nations Inn for some quality trick-or-treat goodies.

Much to all our amazement, and by some divine, or otherwise, miracle Julia managed to find her way to the Nations Inn in West Jefferson BFWNC around 1 in the morning.

On the Day of the Dead we had two shows for a bunch of zombie kids, who must have been coming down off their refined sugar highs because it was like pulling teeth to get them to respond. That is the teeth that hadn't rotted out the night before.

After our shows we pack up and head east to Durham. A nice three hour drive on top of our already tiresome day. This is when things go downhill for me. Now I really like the people I'm doing the show with, but for some strange reason everything they do grates on me. A week ago we were friends and now I'm staring at my Cheeseburger in a diner in Winston Salem wishing they weren't there, but wanting them to be more than ever. This is what happens to me when I'm around people too long, I become increasingly antisocial, which in turn makes them not want to talk to me, which makes me further withdrawn. People I work with tend to think that when I don't talk, I'm mad at them, when in actuality I want to talk but have exasperated all my topics. It makes no sense. I feel bad. I want to be funny and lighthearted at these times, but I just can't be. This has created lots of stress in my relationships with people. Now it has crept into my relationships with my fellow actors, who I really care about. It's disheartening. I dread seeing them tomorrow because I'm afraid it's going to get worse. We have two days left together, and then it's over. I wish we would be as tight as we were when we started the show, but I don't think it will happen. We're friends on stage but off we are now separate people. I just hope they don't leave thinking I hate them, or that they hate me.

Anyway, I get us lost in Durham, and we arrive half an hour late to our morning show, so this added to the stress I'm already feeling makes for a pretty lousy day. We all went our separate ways today. Julia stayed in Chapel Hill with her boyfriend. Dan, the other guy in the show, stopped in Greensboro to see his wife, and Alisha, the other girl in the show, and I drove back to Asheville, barely speaking over the garbled radio.

I just hope tomorrow is a better day.

BTW thanks to all my new friends. I hope to see you all sometime soon.