paulsandman

Hummm whats on my mind today? Well for starters it seems I've shaken off my depression a tad. Drinking and dancing at my favorite night spot the other night helped alot to releave it and seeing a few friend helped too. On the other hand though I'm still looking for some justification I'm still unemployed and I dunno its seems like I just lost it all. Example a few months ago I was fairly happy had a decent job a good life and was on the road to where I wanted and well I was pretty happy. It sounds like I'm justifying myself by my job which....well maybe true... I just honestly don't know anymore. Maybe its the birthday blues coming up because when your birthday comes along you tend to reflect on whats happened with you during the year. Here I am though once again girlfriendless, I won't complain about where I live b/c its decent, unemployed, and well thats all who knows maybe theres some hobby I haven't tapped a hidden talent or some shit like that.
One thing I am thankful for is aside from the arguements I have with my parents and sister is we have a stable relationship. Despite having very straight edged preppy parents they have been nothing but supportive of me despite my many eccenticities. Sure they don't understand me at all alot of the times but they overlook it on the basis I am their only son after all. I dunno maybe I should stop whining but hey feeling like a useless loser doesn't help anyone's self esteem. I just whish I could find what I'm looking for and find it soon.