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paulsandman

Ithaca & Cortland New York

Member Since 2002

Followers 19 Following 8

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Monday Feb 17, 2003

Feb 17, 2003
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I'm a depressing person I admit that fully, part of someone's strengths is recognizing their own faults anyways. I dont know why I'm usually depressed just am, and its nothing medicine, or psychologist, or any of that bullshit can fix. Lets face it too all that is bullshit I know I was on the pills that are supposed to cure your depression and they just made it worse. Oh sure there are times I didn't feel depressed but I'd attribute that too more dulling my senses than actually helping me. Oh and by the way if anyone thinks this for fucking sympathy you are just dead wrong.
The fact is I don't think I even want sympathy sure it feels good, but the fact is you open yourself up for sympathy and then you got the others that laugh at you behind your back as well. Sure theres plenty that are legit too but see the thing that hurts is those that are close to you laughing at you when your not looking. I guess thats exactly what has me down, I mean I could care less what most think but its the one's close to me that sometimes bug me.
Most close to me are great I have alot of respect and love for them. Just lately ah I dont know maybe I'm just too n edge and seeing stuff isn't there. Quite possibly I just got to relax, I mean shit I really want to tell a close friend last night how I'd been feeling that I'd been down but just couldn't for some reason. Are there any solutions I have? I got a number of solutions most good but will take awhile, and some that could fix things immediately but aren't good. I guess I'll just have to do like it the martial arts styles I've studied, be patient and wait for an opening.
nex_flamma:
Well, Im certainly not fit to give great advice, but Ill give it a shot anyway. I know where youre coming from and basically all I can say is that yeah, the people closest to you may not know that youre hurting, but thats only because it's really rather hard for a person to express that kind of pain to others. And your friends, for as much as they love you, are only human and probably arent going to immediately be looking for such hurt inside of you. They may have some idea, but you should totally just sit down and tell them just how you feel. It's not really anyone's fault that they dont get it, especially if theyre not prone to feeling that way too.
Yeah, it hurts that you might think they dont know how youre feeling, but they simply cant know. Sit them down and tell them that youre feeling depressed. It's really the only way for them to know.

Did that help at all?
Feb 18, 2003

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