paulsandman

I was last night I made a mistake in the midst of a beer buzz I brought up myself and my roomates ex talking about her. Not like talking talking just a passing phrase and that was all. Unfortunately it wasn't left at that my attempts to sort things out were rebuffed and the entire thing was blown out of proportion which has led me to this sad conclusion, I can't be her friend anymore. This isn't the first time she's blown what should have been something out of proportion and I get the feeling it will definately happen again. Its not that I can't handle it better I definately kept my temper longer and didn't yell today and even tried to talk things out.
I feel really bad I honestly didn't want to argue like that again I was starting to think of my roomate as my best friend..hell with that she was one of my best friends. I dunno its just fucked up I guess when you got to be all self righteous despite the fact that your own demons are eating you alive inside. On the upside my father has a line on a job back in Cortland, NY so I guess if it works out its time to move back to Cortland again too bad I also really liked Ithaca. Maybe this will blow over and it will be alright but honestly I think the infection has one limb so to speak so best to cut it off before it gets worse. I'll end here with a quote from a Nine Inch Nails song "I do not want this"