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Australia

Member Since 2005

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Wednesday May 04, 2005

May 3, 2005
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I heard two quite strange stories about one of my cousins today. A bit of background: My cousin Jack lives in London, but travels around Europe all the time. He has a huge IQ, a great job, but is still apparently, socially retarded.

He was in Turkey. Jack loves to chat with the locals and had been drinking with a group of Turkish dudes all evening. It then comes to light that Jack is supposed to be paying for this evening of excess. The tab comes to over a thousand pounds. These Turks are part of some Turkish mafia and they aren't taking no for an answer.

At first Jack says he doesn't have that much cash and doesn't have his credit cards with him. He agrees to pay 500 pounds. They don't like this suggestion and don't believe that he doesn't have his cards. He has to show them his wallet to prove it, the whole time sweating it because his cards are in his shoe.

So one of the Turkish guys suggests they go to Jacks accomodation and get the cards. So the pile into car, bundle Jack in there with them and off they go.

But Jack has given them a false address and of course they can't find it. Jack fakes the ignorant tourist to a T, pretending to be lost.

So they decide it is time to take Jack to see someone refered to only as 'The Boss'. This is when Jack decides that maybe he is in a tad over his head and devises a plan of action. He feigned illness in the car, slumping over and pretending to pass out.

Fortunatly the Turkish Mafia decide that my cousin Jack is more trouble than the thousand pounds they were 'owed' and boot him out of the car.

he waited until they were out of sight and legged it.

Unfortunately for Jack, playtime in Turkey wasn't over yet

Jack is out drinking with some chick, just kicking back, having some brews when they decide to change venues and move to a diffrent pub. Wandering down the street and some bloke nabs this chicks bag and takes off down the street.

Now where a sober, intelligent individual might think, "hey a strange man in a strange country has just stolen my bag. Sucks, but hey they can have it, I'll get another" drunken individual thinks, Holy fuck that Turkish bastard has my bag. I'll chase him

So this chick takes off up the street after a guy who is a great deal bigger than her. So Jack being the chivalrous gentleman that he is, takes off after her. He is just behind her and she is just behind the Turk when they head around a corner into an alley and are confronted by a Turkish street gang. The purse snatcher had led them back to his little friends

Now they aren't going to touch a girl, they have some pride, but they have no problem belting Jack around a bit. Now Jack is not a little guy, he is damn tall and built . Somehow he copped a shiner, they must have had a step ladder, or jumped or something. Jack finally decided he had had enough, grabbed the chick and legged it.

Jack was in Turkey for 10 days

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