patrlot

For whatever reason, I always feel the need to write when I'm sad. This makes for a very depressing blog I think. Therefore, I am going to try and make a conscious effort to write when I'm happy as well. Or bored. Like now for instance. I'm bored. I just bought a new Blu-Ray DVD player and am impatiently waiting for it to download a new firmware update. Thus I saw the word 'firmware' and thought to myself, "Hey Patriot, you haven't been on SG in a while.". Ha. Ha.

So now I'm sitting here on SG popping Starburst while my TV behind me is slowly slowly slooooooowly showing progress on one of those uber sci-fi 3D looking progress bars. How much time do you think they spend making those progress bars on computers, phones, tvs, etc? Yep, that's why your new DVD player costs so much. They gotta pay the guy who spent 80 man hours to make a cool sci-fi looking 3D bar.

Ok, 3D bar topic = boring. It's time for an important topic: Starburst.

Like I said earlier, I'm popping Starburst like a little fatty over here (which is WONDERFUL, considering I'm diabetic*, haha) and I'm running into a problem I hope one of you genius minds can fix. THE FUCKING WRAPPERS TAKE FOREVER! Who glues these things? It would be so much easier to consume these things if they weren't wrapped! They should be like pez, no? Put em in a fat little canister that allows you to eat them without all the unwrapping. Now I know what you're thinking: "Why don't you get the Starburst Jelly Beans." I say, "Shut your facehole" Those things don't taste anything like real Starburst...posers.

Thus, I challenge each and every one of you: get a job working for Mars Inc and find a way to make a pez-like, wrapper-less dispenser for Starbursts.


I think it's time I stop writing when I'm bored. I'm sorry if you made it this far into this blog.

*oh don't worry, I have an insulin pump...